Destroy them with Lasers

So, this isn’t my typical post. But I change it up every now and then because I’m a spicy girl and I do spicy things. A couple weeks ago, a friend told me she wanted to buy a laser hair removal Groupon but wasn’t sure what to expect from the appointment. So she asked me a bunch of questions about my experience like, “why does Justin Beiber’s hair look so soft?” Then another friend suggested I write a post about it. So here is that post with those questions. Everything you never wanted to know about laser hair removal. (I swear I didn’t write the questions.)

What has been your experience with laser hair removal?

I’ve gone to two different places. One for my underarms (the place that asked me for a gratuity) and one for my bikini line. One of the places didn’t prepare me at all for the appointment and the other made sure that I knew everything before I came in. So, every place is different. I can tell you, it’s worth it.

What happens in an appointment?

It’s pretty simple. You lay down, put on a pair of dorky glasses to protect your eyes, and they get to zappin’. Sometimes they will use a clear gel as a conductor for the laser and sometimes they won’t. Five minutes later, you’re done.

The laser technician told me the area might feel sunburned afterwards, but that never happened for me.

How often do you have to go?

Every six weeks. Usually they recommend six appointments. So if you buy a Groupon, make sure it’s one with six appointments and not three.  After my  last underarm appointment, the girl recommended two “touch up” appointments which I haven’t made.

Did it hurt?

Hell yes. I’ve heard some people use numbing cream but I haven’t been offered it at either place. When I asked about it, I was told I could have it but I needed to come in 30 minutes early to apply it. I think we know how that went. Lazy = 1, Paula = o. The underarms hurt the most. It feels like 1000 crazy ass bees poking your pits at the same time.

The bikini line is far less painful but let’s be real, your privates are still being shot at with lasers.

How quickly do you see results?

After the first appointment. I didn’t have to shave for a week or more for both areas and even when I started shaving again, it was way less frequent.

Was it awkward?

The underarms, no. But letting someone laser around your junk is a different story. It’s not as horrifically uncomfortable as I imagined but I also wasn’t getting a Brazilian.

Some people take off their underwear, but I do not. If you do wear underwear when getting the bikini line done, wear white because the lasers love black and you don’t need your pants on fire. Or DO YOU?

Does it remove the hair completely?

No. It removes most of the hair (about 80%) but everyone is different.

Is there anything I need to do/know before I go?

  • Shave the area the day before your appointment and do it well, because if there is a stray hair, that sucker is getting burned off on top of your skin. And I speak from experience, that shit hurts.
  • Don’t expose the area to sun at all during treatment and don’t use lotion on the area being treated. (But you can use aloe afterwards.)
  • I’d recommend wearing a tank top for underarm hair removal and a skirt if you’re getting the bikini line done. Pants around your ankles is never a good look.

I have no advice for those of you that have the cajones to go full Brazilian. That crap is crazy and you are on your own.



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14 responses to “Destroy them with Lasers

  1. Would you say if you went back for touch-ups that all the hair would be gone eventually? Or…never…always just most of it?

    Pretty informative. AND I LOVE THE LASER CATS! LOVE!

    • Paula

      Maybe? I have a friend who went for 10 appointments and hers still isn’t all gone. So it probably depends on the person. Your hair follicles have to be in a certain stage of growth for the laser to work and that’s why you go for so many appointments. You’re basically hoping they’ll all be in that stage at some point.

      You will have to give Michelle credit for the laser cat idea. 🙂

  2. I’m going bare down there. I’ve had 7 out of 9 (I gave into the sun and went to the lake, so now I’m having a delay) appointments and it’s going well. Most people need 6-9. I have thick brunet hair, so the additional 3 were a must for me! It does hurt, but it’s over in about 5 mi n. Yeah, it’s kind of awkward to lay there botomless with a lady touching your bits, but I figure she does this all day so if she doesn’t care, then I don’t either.
    The majority of my hair isn’t growing back after the 7th (score!), but there are a few random ones that are looking to be demolished in my next two treatments.

    • Paula

      Good to know! My current place offered me another 6 appts. at my Groupon rate so I might take advantage of that. She said I could use 3 for my underarms and 3 for my bikini line which would put me at 9 appts. for both. I think I’ll do it!

  3. tiffy

    my vagina is still scared from those third degree burns. holy painful va-jj. that’s what i have to say about the full brazillian. pictures to follow.

  4. Amber K

    I just can’t even imagine being okay with that. I can barely handle the pain of shaving, let alone lasers…

  5. Haha this post seriously made me laugh with all of the cat pictures. Love it. I’ve never had it done and am too scared to. Though I’ve had multiple brazilians and that shit hurts too!

  6. When I got my underarms done, my arm would spasm and jump off the table when they zapped me. Freaked me right out. But at least I have hairless pits now.

  7. Jackie

    Lazering is fun!

    If you really don’t want it to hurt, take a Vicodin & have a friend take you to the appointment. No pain, & you’ll probably say all kinds of funny stuff. 🙂

    Also, I have a pair of panties that cuts in where I want the hair line to be. I wear the same pair every time so that the lady has a line to follow.

  8. Sarah S

    I’m way more scared of this than I was of having a baby. Ouch. On an unrelated note, I actually used to work with lasers in grad school. If you tell people you work with laser they get very excited and stop hearing anything else you try to tell them.

  9. LASER CATS!! That’s pretty much one of my favorite SNL sketches of all time. I would LOVE to get laser hair removal. Though it does seem possibly super awkward. I almost bought a groupon 2 different times but the reviews for the 2 places were horrendous. Very informative post! 🙂

  10. Nikki

    Hey, Where is this place? I really want to get some areas done but I don’t like the last place I tried!

    • Paula

      It’s called Spa Illuminata and it’s off Vineland Road. They seem to run a lot of Groupons cuz when I was there the girl was on the phone about running the next one, I think she said sometime in July? So keep an eye out!

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