American Horror Story Asylum in Two Minutes (Episode: Madness Ends)

It’s time to recap the season finale. I’m not sure what I thought of it. I guess I liked it, but then I didn’t. But the more I think about it, the more I liked it. I’m so conflicted. Let’s go with, I liked it.

The show opens four months ago where the season premiere started – with Maroon 5 and Mrs. Channing Tatum on their honeymoon in the asylum. Only, this time we see what’s going on from Dylan McDermott’s viewpoint. He’s listening to the audio version of Lana’s book and hating on her for not wanting him while sitting in a creepy chair.

Then all the same stuff still happens. Maroon 5 gets his arm cut off blah, blah, blah. No surprises. Not sure of the point to this opening because it didn’t tell us anything new. Maybe to bring things full circle? Or give Adam Levine more screen time? Either way, I didn’t see the point.

Now we’re in present time and Lana is being interviewed in her home for the Kennedy Center Honor.

She has a girlfriend (Joan Severance, from all those booby movies back in the day! Anyone?) and a huge house with lots of money that she made from being an investigative reporter on a popular TV series.

During the interview, Lana tells the story of what happened to everyone at the asylum, which we see in flashbacks. First, we start with Sister Jude.

Lana talks about the exposé of the asylum she filmed.

The conditions got even more deplorable to the point where the patients were neglected and diseased. Her exposé finally shut it down. While she was there making the film (without permission), she made an attempt to get Jude out, but she was already gone.

Lana takes a short break from giving the interview and asks one of the PA’s for a sparkling water. That’s when Dylan McDermott (aka, Son of Bloody Face) shows up and hands her one. Oh snap. He’s in the house. I don’t have a picture of that, so enjoy this one instead.

Definitely better than a screen cap from the show. Meow!

Ok, back to the interview. Lana explains how she found out, after the exposé, that Jude was released into Kit’s custody. So, she went to his house to inquire about her.

Kit invites her in and tells her the story of how he went back for her.

After Alma died, Kit began visiting Jude once or twice a week. He could see that she was still there behind all the crazy and he knew she didn’t belong at Briarcliff any more than he did. Eventually, he brought her to his house. He thought that if he forgave Jude, that he could finally leave what happened at Briarcliff behind and focus on being a better father to the kids.

So, for six months, Jude stayed with Kit and led a happy life. She became close with Kit and especially his kids, until one day she was ready for the angel of death to take her.

Kit eventually remarried. One of his children became a law professor at Harvard and another a neurosurgeon.  When Kit was 40, he developed pancreatic cancer that spread to his liver. His days were numbered, but one day, he just disappeared without a trace and no one knows what happened to him.

That’s right. Aliens took him. And his alien babies are geniuses.

Also, I thought for a long time whether to use that lame probe joke or not and I’m still not sure I made the right decision. Smile

Once the asylum was shut down, the Monsignor was so distraught about the allegations that were about to befall him from the corruption he was a part of that he killed himself.

During the interview, Lana also admitted that she lied in her book about her baby dying. She actually gave him up for adoption, and for awhile she regretted that decision but ultimately knew that he had a better chance of being loved in another family since she could never love him.

When Lana finishes the interview, everyone leaves, but Dylan McDermott is still hiding out in the house eating delicious donuts (pretty sure it was an eclair, not that I would notice a detail like that). Lana knows he’s still in her house and that he’s her son.

Lana tells him that she always knew their meeting would happen one day. Then Johnny (I don’t think I knew his name until this episode) holds Lana at gunpoint, while he whines about how she never loved him. He idolizes his father and he’s pissed that Lana went on with her successful life without him.

Lana convinces him that his father was a monster and that he’s nothing like him, that he’s a better man, and that she gave him up so he would have a better life. She gets him to put down his gun and Johnny starts crying because he’s hurt so many people. He also calls her mom while he’s crying, which I kinda thought was cute. I know he’s a serial killer, but whatevs. It was cute, dammit.

While his guard is down, Lana shoots him in the head.

And there you have it. Lana is the only survivor of the season.

At the very end, we see a flashback to the first episode when Lana and Sister Jude first met at the asylum.

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Alright, so what did you think? Is season 1 or 2 better? How’d you like how everything turned out?

Season 2 recaps: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10, Episode 11, Episode 12

American Horror Story in Two Minutes (Episode: Afterbirth)

Time to recap Season 1, Episode 12 (season finale).

This time we start out 9 months ago when Vivien is about to leave Ben. Ben begs her to start over with him and he wants her to check out a great house he found on the market where he thinks they’ll have a good chance of starting over and being happy.

While Ben is trying to convince Vivien to stay with him, we get flashes of the horrible things that have happened since they moved in, serving as a gruesome reminder that Ben is terrible at picking houses.

Back to present time.

Ben is alone in the house, calling out for his dead wife, but he can’t find her.

Later, Constance watches the anti-Christ baby for Ben while he’s at Vivien’s funeral. When Ben picks up the baby afterwards, he notices the picture of Tate and Addie in the kitchen. Ben finally realizes Tate is dead. It’s obvious Constance wants to keep the baby but Ben insists on taking him. As he’s leaving, Constance tells Ben not to go back into the house because of all the spirits that mean the baby harm. Constance tells Ben he’s an ignorant fool if he thinks he can live in that house after all he’s seen. Then, Ben has a few choice words for Constance.

Ben and the anti-Christ baby return to the murder house. As Ben is feeding the baby in the kitchen, Vivien and the maid are standing next to him but Ben can’t see them. Vivien tells the maid that she and Violet agreed not to show themselves to Ben because he would stay in the house and she wants him and the baby to get as far away from the house as possible.

Later, Ben attempts to kill himself to join Vivien and Violet.

Vivien and Violet finally appear to him and convince him that he shouldn’t kill himself and needs to leave the house and raise the baby somewhere safe.

Ben goes upstairs to pack his bags and as he’s leaving, Hayden and the home invasion ghosts intercept. They grab him, rope him to the chandelier, and hang him before he has a chance to leave.

Now everybody’s dead! Except Constance, of course. Ben doesn’t seem to mind being dead because he’s back together with Vivien and Violet and the anti-Christ baby wasn’t his anyway. Vivien also seemed to forget about devil baby real fast and no one seemed to mind when Constance showed up and took the baby to raise for herself.

After Ben died, the house went up for sale and was bought by another couple with a son.  During the first night, the ghosts were haunting the new owners, like whoa. Ben and Vivien realized that they couldn’t let what happened to them happen to the new people, so they got in on the haunting. Nothing like Vivien disemboweling Ben and Ben shooting Vivien point blank and then not dying from those wounds to tell the new couple they needed to get out.

While Vivien and Ben are making the new couple crap their pants in the basement, Tate tries to kill their son so Violet wouldn’t be alone now that they’ve broken up. But Violet stopped Tate by distracting him with a steamy goodbye kiss. Then Violet told Tate goodbye and he cried some more. And you all know how much I love a good Tate-cry.

The new couple rounded up their son and hightailed it out of the house wearing nothing but their PJs. Then Vivien and Ben agreed that they will keep anyone else from moving in.

Later, Vivien finds Nora in the basement. Turns out the stillborn baby lived for a short while after its birth so the baby’s ghost is alive and well. Only Nora can’t stand that the baby cries all the time and doesn’t think she’s cut out for motherhood. See Nora? It wasn’t fun when you cried all the time either.

Vivien takes the baby and gets to raise her (non-devil) child afterall. She even asks the maid to be godmother.

Later, Ben confronts Tate about his crimes and Tate confesses to them all. He was faking ignorance the whole time but now is truly sorry for what he’s done. MOAR crying! Ben isn’t as impressed with Tate’s crying as I am.

Toward the end, the family and the maid get ready for Christmas. They decorate a Christmas tree together that Ben chopped down himself. You’re a ghost Ben, where’d you chop down that tree? Que a holiday family scene where they all find happiness together only in death. We also discover that Violet does in fact have teeth.

Meanwhile, Tate and Hayden look on at the happy family scene and Tate vows to wait for Violet forever. He’ll probably be waiting a long time, because next season has a new family and new location. Sorry, Tate.

Flash forward 3 years

While Constance is getting her hair done, she yaps on and on to her hairdresser about how hard her life is and how it was all worth it because she has finally found meaning in it by raising her anti-Christ grandson.

After the hair appointment, she comes home to find blood streaking the walls. She follows the blood smears upstairs to her grandson’s bedroom where she finds the nanny brutally murdered in a pool of blood while the anti-Christ toddler looks on with a smile.

What did you all think of the finale? (I was unimpressed last night but the more I think about it today, the more I like it.)

What questions weren’t answered that you wish were? (I want to know why the maid aged when she died young. And where were the baby’s hooves from the sonogram?)

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Ryan Murphy (the show’s creator) confirmed Season 2 will have new characters and a new location and that if any actors return, they will be playing different characters.

Past recaps: Pilot, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10, Episode 11