The Most Superficial Movie Review Ever

Last night, I went to see Les Mis.

I prefer this poster.

Now, before I tell you what I thought of the movie, keep this stuff in mind: I don’t normally like musicals, period pieces, movies that make me cry, or Russell Crowe. In fact, I hate movies that make me cry. So I usually avoid all romances and 50% of dramas. It’s not that I don’t like them, but the crying wipes me out. Then, when I go to sleep that night, my eyes get super puffy so when I wake up, I look like I’ve been in a bar fight. Those puffy eyes take hours to look like normal again. So all day long, people will tell me I look tired or ask me what’s wrong. And you can only tell people you got into so many bar fights until they don’t believe you anymore. So, I’d just rather avoid that all together.

Anyway, we went to the movie because we wanted to spend some time with friends we hadn’t seen in awhile and considering the trailer for it made me want to cry, I went in armed.

Oh, I should also tell you that I knew nothing about Les Mis before last night. I’ve never seen the play and I didn’t know the story. With that said, I thought the movie was good. Not great. I would have been happy to wait till video.

The cinematography was beautiful and Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman were amazing. There was almost no dialog – all the dialog was in song, which was different.  I believe this is the first movie where the actors sung their parts while filming the movie, instead of recording the soundtrack prior to filming and lip syncing and I think that really added to the emotion. However, I think the beginning of the story was way too rushed, but even so, I think the movie was too long.

I know what the Les Mis fans are thinking.

So as long as I got the Les Mis fans hating me, I might as well get all superficial too.

Russell Crowe singing was a little awkward to me. It’s not really a role I imagine him in. I couldn’t stop looking at Hugh Jackman’s tongue when he was singing (it’s so pink!), and I’m pretty sure Helena Bonham Carter is in this movie only because she got lost on the way to the set of her next Tim Burton movie. (I think all her roles can be described as “crazy lady with crazy hair.”) Then, this girl’s waist was so small that I couldn’t notice anything else in the scene.

I never thought I’d see a movie with Sacha Baron Cohen because he is the epitome of annoying to me. Although, he was pretty entertaining comic relief in this one and I sort of hated myself for liking him. Then, Sacha and Russell Crowe had a scene together and I wondered if Russell asked for extra money to do that. Then I wondered how Sacha scored a hot babe like Isla Fischer in real life. Then I wondered, “hey what’s for dinner?”

Overall, I liked it. The friends I went with that are super Les Mis fans said the movie wasn’t as good as the play or book but they still enjoyed it. So if you like all the things I mentioned that I hate, you will like it too. I’m sure this movie will get all the awards, so when you do see it you can feel more cultured and worldly like I do.