Five for Friday

1. I went for a run last night. This was my view.

That means my run was not on my beloved treadmill, but outside in the land of gnat clouds. The temperature was in the low 60s (that’s our cool front) when I started and everyone on the path was already in winter jackets and long sleeves. Florida is hilarious when it dips below 72F. There is no reason for any of us to own a quilted winter jacket.

2. I ran five miles. I didn’t feel omgamazing but I felt alright and this is how it went.

I know it’s only five miles (no walking! hive five), but I couldn’t even get one mile like that during my race. Apparently I’m not meant to run races but boring mile loops around a lake.

3. I got my first Christmas card in the mail. (From this girl who just changed her blog name. You know you’re gonna have to change that again in 10 years right?)

There are several things I like about how this was addressed. Probably the first being that all our last names are Hamm. There’s something delightful and disgusting about the name Pants Hamm.

4. Last weekend, we went to see Steve Byrne at the Improv with a bunch of friends and got to meet him after the show.

He’s on a show called Sullivan and Son on TBS that we don’t watch, so we had no idea who he was but we had a good time and Steve was a nice guy. Some of his routine was a little too offensive for me (and I am really hard to offend) but other than that, worth seeing.

5. Hubs and I watched Winter’s Bone last night.

Yeah, I know it’s old. I have a lot of catching up to do. Anyway, I bought the movie on super sale and have been meaning to watch it for awhile now.

I’m going to sum it up quickly so you don’t have to watch it.

*Spoiler Alert*

*You’ll thank me later*

Jennifer Lawrence is dirt poor and raises her two younger siblings because her mom is crazy and her dad’s in jail for cooking meth. Dad jumps bail and disappears “mysteriously.” (It’s not really mysterious.) The dad’s debt threatens to take the family house so she has to find him. She walks from house to house asking people where her dad is while wearing a sweet deer sweater.

Alright, so that happens for about an hour. Oh, and it’s cold out. I guess that’s why it’s called Winter’s Bone because there’s no other explanation. Although, no one ever seems really cold in the movie so I question the temperature.

Anyway, after asking enough people, she finds her dad. He’s dead in the water (literally) and she has to chop his hands off to prove it (best not to ask).  Finally, she gets to keep the house. Then she makes her siblings feel like crap unintentionally.

The end.

When I say nothing really happened in this movie, I am not exagerrating. However, this is what is written on the back of the box.


Hubs mentioned that we did technically have pulses during the movie. So they got us there.

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A New Attitude

I already forgot about that race that shall not be mentioned. Amazing what a few days and a lot of beer can do. Thanks, beer.

I’m already formulating a plan for my next race in January. I’d tell you what that plan is but then I won’t follow through because, well, I’m a quitter. That’s why part of this new plan (that I will tell you about) involves an attitude adjustment.

Once my mental state goes downhill, it’s over for me. I can’t get it back. I read all these blog posts about how people tough it out and dig deep during a race, and I wish that was me, but it’s not. This basically means that I’m the least competitive person you’ll ever meet because I give up so easily. I find it really easy to stop caring.

So if you like to beat your friends in races – or in anything really – I’m the girl you want to hang around. I’d be like the old lady that Finnick carried on his back in Catching Fire, except I’d be completely able to walk and 30 years younger.

If I was a dog, I’d be this dog.

So, goal #1: Attitude adjustment

I’ve had several people tell me that I get inside of my head too much when I race. Not sure how I’m going to go about fixing that but I guess I have a month to figure it out. So here’s to not being a poopy pants anymore. Also, here’s to not actually pooping my pants anymore. Why not go for two goals?

I’m already excited about my next race, so I think that helps. Plus, you know my attitude is starting to change when this doesn’t get me down:


Pretty sweet place there.

What do you do to keep up your morale during a race? (If you tell me you repeat mantras, I’m going to delete your comment. haha. Just kidding. Maybe.)

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You Never Know What Kind of Runner You’ll Be

I ran the OUC Orlando Half Marathon yesterday. It was my third time running the race and my 20th half.

I got enough sleep.

I ate my normal breakfast.

Everything felt fine before the race.

My legs felt heavy from the start.

It was hot.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I thought about DNFing. A lot.

I walked. A lot.

My feet were hurting. (I need new shoes. Again. Sigh.)

My left shoulder pain was back.

I hated every moment.

Somehow I finished.

I was a minute and some change away from a PW. (2:28:11)

I felt nauseated afterwards.

I questioned why I even run in the first place.

I want to forget about it.

I’m glad I had my girls, Michelle and Katy, there to cheer me up.

You never know what kind of runner you’ll be at a race. They’re all different and when they suck, all you can do is try again.


(If you like happier race reviews, check out this one from Michelle.)


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By the Numbers

I feel like I’m slacking on the random posts lately, so here we go.

1. I’m running the Orlando Half Marathon tomorrow.

I don’t expect to run a PR but I’d at least like the option for the race to not suck. Thanks mother nature, for sucking the life blood and Christmas spirit out of me. If anyone needs me, I’ll be the beet-red, sweaty one at the end blaming the weather for my finish time.

2. I bought Jon Hamm some mineral chews. Of course, he only eats the frosting off the top and leaves the rest.

I know dogs start to resemble their owners but is it possible for hamsters too? I mean, his only loves are running on a wheel and eating frosting. I’m feeling a kinship here.

4. Hubs and I have taken to making Pants snuggle with us each night in hopes that she’ll learn to love being held.

When we sit with her, she’s probably a six instead of her normal ten on the Snuggle Hate Scale so we’re hoping she’ll end up loving it. Anyway, holding her creates this furnado that swirls around my mouth and lips that makes it hard to keep holding her. Wiping my face with my hands or sleeve makes it 10x worse because her fur sticks to everything. It’s like mass-shedding is her natural defense mechanism against love.

4.  If you’ve been reading awhile, you may notice I’m not doing the American Horror Story recaps this year.

I’m definitely still watching and I super love it this season. I’ve even been converted to an Emma Roberts fan, who I should naturally hate because she’s dating Evan Peters in real life, and that really detracts from me pretending he’s my boyfriend.

5. Hubs and I are almost done with the last season of Spartacus. We’re liking it though I don’t think it’s as good as the first seasons. Now. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for all the muscles and six-pack abs and full frontal man-nudity. I’m grateful. I am. But do 90% of the sex scenes realllly have to involve this guy?

I don’t want to say that I find him unattractive but…ok, yes I do. Surely you could get someone else willing to sign that every episode nudity clause.

Other options for consideration:

6. A new person started at work last week. She sits on the other side of me, but she never leaves her cube so I’m very familiar with the back of her head. Anyway, I saw her face this morning so I decided to introduce myself and her first words to me were, “Oh, I didn’t expect you to look like that.”

7. I meant to post this picture awhile back but forgot. This booklet was left on my front door about a month ago.

I’d like to emphasize something.

Man. Nothing goes together quite like some horns, lightning, and lions.


That’s it for me today. I hope everyone has a good weekend. If someone could send me some Winter weather, I’d appreciate it.

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Swipe, Eat, Repeat

Not too long ago, I joined BASEendurance, a new company that hooks runners up with products they would actually use. (If you’re a runner and a blogger and are interested in signing up, check this out.) Anyway, I was able to try out this new product, Fuelstrip, through BASEendurance.

Fuelstrip is little strips that test your sweat to detect metabolites to determine when you need to fuel during activity. I used it during my run on Thanksgiving, but you can use it for any activity except swimming.

Ok, so here’s what you do: swipe one of these strips across your forehead every 15 minutes.

The strip will change to one of four colors and then you eat the amount of Fuelchews based on the color. Fuelchews are kinda like Gu Chomps, but not.

Anyway, I ran for 15 minutes then stopped to use my first strip. It was already yellow.

Somehow I doubted my need to eat two chews after only 15 minutes of activity but it probably had to do with my breakfast of Kix cereal and unsweetened almond milk instead of my usual 10+ mile breakfast of plain oatmeal or a low-sugar PB&J.

I ignored the strip and ran for another 15 minutes. The second Fuelstrip was green.

I brought the Fuelchews with me but wasn’t sure if I was going to eat them. (Remember, I can’t eat sugar when I’m running?) Since I was in a park and always, at most, one mile from a bathroom, I decided to play a little Russian Roulette with my stomach. I ate two chews instead of the recommended three, because three is just asking for a pants-pooping.

The Fuelchews were really good. They were easy to chew (like gum drops) instead of rubbery (like gummy bears). Now, I’m not saying this to blow sunshine up Fuelstrip’s, ahem, skirt – but I liked them way better than most of the other gummy-type chews out there. They didn’t stick to my teeth or take forever to chew.

After fueling, I ran for another 15 minutes, used another strip, and it was still green.

I ate one more Fuelchew, instead of the recommended three, and that was all my stomach could handle until I started feeling off.

I used one last strip 15 minutes later (still green) and finished up a seven miler way faster than I normally run.

That pace was probably a combination of the fueling and the 50 degree weather with a dash of me being generally awesome. 😉

Since I was taking pictures during the run, I stopped to use the Fuelstrips. In a race situation, I wouldn’t want to stop. The strips are pretty small and I’d probably drop them. So that would be my only complaint. People will more coordination, I’m sure, wouldn’t have a problem. I did hear Fuelstrip is coming out with a bracelet unit early next year which sounds like a better option for the clumsy.

Overall, Fuelstrip made me realize that I need to eat way earlier than I have been during races. Usually I won’t eat anything until I’m seven miles in and that’s only if I’m struggling. Eating while running and I have a dicey relationship. I used the strips for my seven miler but I think these would be really great for marathon training so you know how to fuel for a long run. Plus, they’re so affordable that you don’t really have anything to lose.

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Things I’m Grateful For

My lovely friend Melissa sent me this post and I really, really liked it. So I’m going to take a break from being a complaining jerkface and reflect on a few things I’m grateful for. (For one day only. Jerkfacing continues tomorrow.)

1. Something about your body
This year, I’m most grateful for how strong my body is because of Crossfit. I love that my trainer uses hubs and I as guinea pigs for new workouts and bases the intensity of his other client’s workouts on what we can do. That makes me feel pretty badass.

2. The people who help you without even knowing it
This year, I’m most grateful for Michelle. I know for a hard, cold fact that I would not still be training and running races if she didn’t run them with me. Her excitement for running keeps me excited.

3. Something that has changed in the past year
This year, I’m grateful that I took a chance and left my higher paying, comfortable job for a lower paying job where I have less experience. Even though I’m working more, it’s made me so much happier.

4. Something you have enough of
This year, I’m grateful that I have one job that gives me enough income to pay bills on time, to put food in the fridge, and to buy gifts for my friends and family when I know that others out there work three jobs to try and do the same.

5. Something about your friends and family
This year, I’m so grateful that I got to spend Thanksgiving with my best friend, her mom (my second mom), her family, and friends for the first time since we were teenagers. And of course, my hubs. The BFF and her hubs made an amazing dinner and we laughed all night. It was definitely the best Thanksgiving I’ve had in years and years.


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Food Talk

I don’t normally talk about eating. Well, that’s not true. I do talk about eating a lot of crap. Like the fried ice cream that hubs and I shared.

Or my suggestive-looking German dinner. (I had a friend tell me it looks like a demented muppet, which is better than what I was thinking…)

Or giant beers on a Monday night.

I don’t talk about when I’m trying to eat well, which is basically all of the time except when I give in to things like desserts and drinks on the weekend. Anyway, I’m going to talk about that other eating. The non-crappy kind where I try to decline desserts and not spend evenings on intimate dates with the fridge.

About five years ago, I started Weight Watchers (WW). WW showed me this complete new way of eating and I was really successful on it. I lost 26lbs in a little over four months and kept it off for a good three years until I started gaining some back. (Some of that weight gain was from muscle I gained in Crossfit and some of it was from big fat cupcakes I shoved into my mouth.)

Anyway, when you’re on WW, you count points. So everything you put in your mouth has a point value and you have a certain amount of points you can eat each day. I kept a food log so I wouldn’t go over my points. This is where it started. Instead of seeing food as food, I saw everything as a point value. If it was too many points, I wouldn’t eat it.

Fast forward three years and I got soooo tired of counting points. I got to the point where I would look at someone else’s meal, calculate the points in my mind, and think, “omg, do they know that meal is 32 points? That’s more than you should eat in a day!” So, I quit WW and decided to use MyFitnessPal to count calories, because there was no way I was going to quit keeping a food diary. MyFitnessPal was different enough that I kept logging my food – every single day – for another two years. Which brings me to today. Big surprise! I’m soooo tired of counting calories.

I was talking to my friend, Kate, last week about how I’ve wanted to lose 10 lbs for the past 80 years and how the four pieces of cake I just ate at work weren’t helping with that. (There were a lot of flavors, had to try them all!) She asked me if I ever kept a food diary. When I told her that I’ve done that every day for the past five years, she said, “that sounds exhausting.”

Yep. It is. Now I’m at the point where the thought of food just stresses me out. I mean, once I’m eating it, I’m fine. Obviously. You can look at my ba-donk-a-donk and see that. I just hate accepting dinner plans because it’s out of my comfort zone of the five meals I eat regularly at home. Am I going to eat too much when I’m out? Am I going to eat just right? <—thats where the stress comes from

Later that day, I told hubs how sick I am of logging my food and how I wished I didn’t have to anymore. I tried to rationalize it by saying that it helps me know when I should stop eating for the day. He then lovingly told me I eat whatever I want anyway, but I just write all the crap I eat down.


So here I am on day three of not logging my food for the first time in five years. It’s one of those habits that is so engrained in me that I’m still counting calories mentally but I’m hoping that will go away soon. I’m also hoping that not seeing how many calories I have left in the day will change my eating. When I see I have a certain amount left, I think I talk myself into being hungry even though I might not be. Then I eat those calories just to be hungry later and eat again anyway. I’ve never heard of keeping a food diary as being a bad thing, but I think it is for me. Maybe. We’ll see how this goes.

Long story short: I’m gonna eat when I feel like it and not write that shit down.

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Sunday Bunday

It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these posts. Rest assured the princess is still doing well and is as sassy as ever. So I thought I would share a few shots of her being adorable. Or being a pain in the ass. Or being adorable while being a pain in the ass.

Pants gets to run around the house and play every morning. And by playing, I mean running from her cage to another room to lay down some more.

Pants helping me with the Christmas decorations.

Pants’s delicately balanced piece of poo on a stuffed animal.

That girl. She’s cute and talented.

And lastly, Pants staying still long enough so I could get an actual shot of that sweet face.

I love that the color on her mouth looks like an upside-down heart. <3

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Last Night’s Workout

I haven’t talked about Crossfit in awhile, but that’s still happening. I go three days a week, which means I spend five days a week in some kind of muscle pain. I’m definitely back to my normal strength since the installation and even benched a 115lb PR last week that made me feel like a freakin’ hulkamaniac.

That lasted an hour until I realized you can’t see my muscles because they are covered by a layer of delicious cupcakes and brownies.

I thought I would share last night’s workout with you guys since I haven’t posted one in awhile. It was on the easier side as far as Crossfit goes (super thankful for that because I was tired) and I didn’t have too much trouble getting through it (except for the knees to elbows – those are always hard). Well, today things hurt. They hurt a lot. So maybe it wasn’t as easy as I thought.

Substitute knees-to-elbows with another ab exercise, like v-ups, if you don’t have a bar to hang from. You can also fake the jump rope to make this into a no equipment workout. It’s a good one. You’ll feel those jump ropes after the lunges, I promise. Then, you’ll thank me after Thanksgiving because you didn’t turn into a stuffed turkey.



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10 Things about Me

I’m seeing a lot these “things about me” posts going around Facebook. People are writing novels about themselves in status updates. Get a blog people! Ain’t nobody got time for that. Still, it sounds like fun, so I’m going to do 10 things you may not know about me. But on a blog. Where it belongs.

1. I had an entire wedding planned in Orlando – chapel, venue, photographer, caterer, all of it – and then cancelled everything six months prior and went to Vegas instead.

Totally worth it.

2. I had never heard of brown recluse spiders until hubs told me about them a few years ago. Now I think every brown spider I see is a brown recluse and it He often says he wishes he never said anything. That’s how bad it is. So, whatever you do, don’t Google brown recluse spider bites. *shudder*

3. I’ve never been out of the United States unless you cound the Bahamas, which I don’t, because the Bahamas is just sub-Florida.

See? Sub-Florida.

4. I’ve known my best friend for 30 years and we still talk and hang out all the time.

We had to fight them off with a stick back then.

5. If I could move anywhere in the U.S., I would move to Reno, Nevada. I love it there. It’s the perfect mix of big city and small town life. Plus, mountains. Mountains, people!

Almost broke my ass snowboarding that day, so that won’t happen again. I will look at the mountains instead of falling down them.

6. I own at least 50 bottles of nail polish.

7. My first job was at a small movie theatre in McHenry, IL. My dad parked across the street, pointed at the Now Hiring sign, and told me to go get a job. When I mentioned that I was 15 years old, he told me, “Well then tell them you’re 16!” So I did, got the job within 10 minutes, and worked there the whole summer.

8. The first time I shaved my legs was for a Belinda Carlise concert, even though my step-mom tried to talk me out of it. Belinda is worth shaving legs for. #fact

9. I shower by candlelight in the morning because turning on lights right after I wake up makes me angry. I have a much better morning if I turn on the lights after I shower and brush my teeth.

10. Whenever I take a personality test, I always rate as an introvert, which no one that’s met me seems to believe because I never stop talking.

What is something people might not know about you?

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