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Hi there! I'm Paula and I live in Orlando. I like to run and watch too much TV. I'm a lover of cupcakes and hater of chia seeds, even though I've never tried them. I eat peanut butter out of the jar and think Aaron Paul is my boyfriend.
Category Archives: Story Time
The One About the Guy Who Asked a lot of Questions
So a funny thing happened after the LMFAO concert.
I mentioned how hubs, Lisa, Sheila, and I went to a bar afterwards to wait for the crowd to thin and traffic to die down. Well, all of us were sitting at the bar chatting for awhile and eventually a random guy walked up to me and started asking a bunch of questions. He didn’t even introduce himself. The first thing out of his mouth was, ”how long have you guys known each other?”
I was a little confused at first, but I was polite and answered his questions even though I didn’t show much interest in talking to him since I was mainly in conversation with my friends. But even so, he just kept asking all these random questions out of nowhere.
It was then that I realized he was trying to pick me up. (I know. I’m real observant.) And I gotta hand it to this guy for trying, especially since I was in a group of people. That takes some courage.
Now, I’m not bragging in the least when I say this, but I was not in this guy’s league. If we can talk in celebrity terms here, I know there’s no way a Bradley Cooper or Zac Efron is going to hit on me. But I’m pretty sure if a non-famous, dirt poor, slightly unshowered, yet still adorable John Krasinski was my next door neighbor, I could probably hit that. You know, if I begged.
Anyway, this guy was more like an awkward Jason Segel type without the charm, wit, or cool Dracula song.
So, he was still standing next to me when a song came on that hubs particularly liked. So hubs starts dancing to it about two feet away from us not really paying attention to our group. Then the conversation went a little like this:
Random Guy: I wanna dance like that someday (referring to hubs).
Me: You can do it right now. Go ahead!
Random Guy: I would, but I’m heterosexual.
Me: So is he. Wanna know how I know?
Random Guy: How?
Me: Because I sleep with him!
*Uncomfortable pause*
Random Guy: He’s your boyfriend?
Me: No. He’s my husband.
Random Guy: It was nice meeting you.
And that is the story about the guy who asked a lot of questions. 
The end.
Posted in Story Time
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That Time When I Felt Like an Idiot
Ok, so funny story.
On my lunch break today, hubs and I went to Smoothie King to get a smoothie. I ordered, paid, and was about to leave when I noticed this woman sitting at a table staring at me wide-eyed.
I didn’t really think much of it because, really, what else is there to look at in Smoothie King but a rack full of protein bars and beef jerky?
Anyway, as I walked past this lady, she got out of her chair and said, “excuse me” while walking behind me and trying to get my attention. But she was being so quiet about it. So, since she looked all wide-eyed and curious, I got this weird feeling that made me all sorts of nervous. For no reason whatsoever, I started thinking…
THIS is it! She reads my blog and I’M BEING RECOGNIZED!!!!
And then she whispered, “you have a band-aid sticking to your butt.”
True story.
Like a Hitchcock Movie but with Less Birds
Sunday morning, I mowed the lawn and did a lot of hedging around the house. I took a short break inside to get some cool air and water and when I walked back out of the house (through the garage), I saw a bird chirping on top of my car.
Alright, that’s interesting. I called to the hubs to check it out and that’s when I noticed this.
The one on the car kept chirping and flipping out. The one on the step was silent and would not move. We walked right up to him and he didn’t budge. He just kept staring at us.
And staring.
We briefly wondered if he was dead, but we could see his chest moving. Then we got worried because…well, isn’t this how it starts? You know, the end of the world. Don’t the birds attack first?
The only way to a killer bird’s heart is through his stomach. So, I threw bread at him.
He still didn’t move. It was creepy. I just wanted to avoid this.
After throwing all the bread at him, we did the sneak attack. And by sneak attack, I mean we went out the front door and walked around the house to the garage instead of stepping over him because we’re total wimps.
It’s like he’s waiting for the kill signal that only birds can hear.
Eventually we realized it was a scared baby bird who fell out of the nest and couldn’t fly yet. We guided him out of the garage to the mama bird that was waiting outside and making all kinds of commotion. It took about 30 seconds for the mama bird to give the baby some food and lead him across the street to the nest. It was really cute. But first it was totally creepy. But then definitely cute.
Updated: Go check out the fun little interview I did over at Stefanie’s blog Run On, which just happens to be one of the blogs I stalk. Now you can stalk her too!
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