S!#t My Husband Draws – Wife Edition

If you’ve been reading the blog for awhile, you know I have a very sporadic segment called S!#t My Husband Draws which consists of crap my husband draws for me with the instant messenger draw tool.

Well, recently hubs has been finding things on his computer that I drew. Horrible, horrible things. He’s been threatening to start his own blog featuring S!#t My Wife Draws. I can’t let that happen. So in an effort to keep peace in the family and new blogs off the internet, I have been “asked” to post my original drawings.  Let this be a lesson to all of you that screen captures exist and can lay dormant for years.

1. I must have just discovered Paint at this point, which was as exciting to me as the first time man discovered dry land. So, I took some liberties with the color palette.

 2. To be fair, I thought this was really good at the time. Hubs wanted a logo for his portfolio (he’s a graphic artist), so I took it upon myself to make something for him because I’m such a giving person. I’m not sure how anyone can’t like this.

 3. Here, I drew myself in a sexy pose. He sent me this one today. And I don’t want to talk about it.

If you missed any of the previous posts, you can check them out here when you’re bored at work. You may want to poke your eyes out afterwards.

S!#t My Husband Draws – Necklaces

Last Christmas, hubs got me a pretty awesome dress from Express with a belt and necklace to match.

I thought the dress could use either the belt or the necklace but both would be over accessorizing. I liked the belt (I’m wearing it in the picture) but I wasn’t sure about the necklace since it wasn’t something I would normally pick out for myself. This is the necklace:

I decided I was going to return it because it was expensive ($35) and I wasn’t sure I’d wear it. It’s not that I thought it was horrible, it just wasn’t my style. That day, when I told him I was going to return it and needed the receipt, I got this over IM :-) :

I do appreciate how he can capture my left man-shoulder.

By the time we found the receipt and made the trip to Express, it had gone on clearance for four dollars. Four! I’ll keep a snotty tissue for four bucks, so I decided to return it, then re-purchase it, and use the extra $31 to get a new shirt. Now that necklace is waiting for the perfect outfit.

If you missed any of the other S!#t My Husband Draws, you can check them out here:

They will not disappoint you. Ok. They probably will.

S!#t My Husband Draws – 3 for 1

It’s like a S!#t My Husband Draws and Three Things Thursday in one! Can it get any better?  Well, yes. It probably can….but it’s not going to.

Note to new readers: These pictures are drawn by my hubs with the instant messenger draw tool.

Usually I have some type of context or story on why the hubs drew a certain picture. These pictures are the ones that have been saved on my computer for so long that I have no clue why he drew them. Luckily he gave each one titles so you don’t have to ask yourself, “wtf am I looking at?” or “why?” 

Actually, you’ll still probably wanna ask yourself those questions.

1.  “Dog Man!”

I’m glad they have that “telltale” cape because I might not have been able to spot one otherwise.

Updated: Hubs just told me the reason for Dog Man was this video of a dog that has 2 legs and walks like a person. Apparently we also thought he was a superhero. :-)

2. “Mullet with Ear” 

That ear should not be confused with a donut. Also, I’m still waiting on and extremely curious about the “earless” mullet.

3.  “Ka! I’m a phoenix”

I… I have nothing.

That’s right ladies. The man that did these drawings is ALL mine. So don’t get any ideas. If you missed any of his other artistic masterpieces, you can check them out here:

There are some drawings I haven’t posted yet, but our work is getting rid of MSN messenger soon for an internal messenger (without a draw feature). So, that means the drawings will run out and then there will be no more S!#t My Husband Draws on E:W:R. Sad smile

S!#t My Husband Draws – Self-Portrait

If you don’t know already, the hubs and I work at the same company. We normally eat lunch at 11:30. We don’t necessarily eat lunch together, but a lot of times we pick something up together to bring it back to the office. A couple days a week, we have (seperate) meetings that run till noon or after. These meetings are in bitter dispute with the schedule our stomachs are on.

My meeting was running particularly late one day and the hubs was waiting for me to get out so we could pick something up. He instant messaged me this peach:

 

Ah yes. The artwork of a hungry husband.

If you haven’t seen his other IM artwork, check them out here:

Also, I haven’t heard from one of the giveaway winners. Still waiting for you to contact me. Are you out there?

I’m bored. Tell me something ridiculous about one of your exes. :-)   (Ok, me first! My ex-boyfriend once asked me (in total seriousness) if hurricanes were named after the first person that saw them.)

God I hope he’s not reading this.

S!#t My Husband Draws – Impatient Cupcakes

Today, I’m doing something awesome. I’m heading out to San Diego to visit my family for the weekend. Did I mention that already? :-)

Oh, and the high AND low temperature is going to be 65 ALL weekened. I might even go for a run on those terrible San Diego hills just to enjoy cooler weather. Florida’s “cool front” of 85 this weekend can suck it. :-) 

Since I’ll be on a plane, I thought I would do another edition of S!#t My Husband Draws. There are lots of new peeps reading (or just a lot of people that like to refresh), so I thought I would explain this segment again. At work, my husband and I communicate over IM and he likes to draw random pictures with the IM draw tool. If they make me laugh, I post them. If they suck, I slap him with a wet newspaper.

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I have a huge sweet tooth. So, the hubs often offers me half of whatever goodie he’s eating – like cookies, cake, or whatever. On this particular day, he asked me if I wanted a cupcake but I didn’t respond to his IM in a timely fashion.

 

Impatient cupcakes. That might be a good band name.

If you can’t get enough of his artwork, you can see his other masterpieces herehere, here, here, here, here, and here.

Tell me something random about an annoying co-worker so I have fun stuff to read when I get off the plane. :-) (If you work with me, that story better not be about me. Or, it can be about how annoyingly awesome I am. That’s acceptable.)

S!#t My Husband Draws-Evil Cake

If you’re new to the blog, this is a segment I do without any regularity. Much like my bowels. At work, my husband and I communicate over IM and he likes to draw random pictures with the IM draw tool. These pictures make me laugh. I post them.

If you missed any of the other posts, you can see them herehere, here, here, here, and here.

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The company we work for gets cake once a month for all the employees to celebrate the birthdays of the month. Every month, I try to NOT walk by the kitchen so I’m not tempted to take a piece.

Let’s face it. I eat crap everyday and the last thing I need is an extra piece of cake every month.

Our IM conversation went like this:

Hubs: There’s cake in the kitchen.
Me: I know, I was just there. It was staring me down!
Hubs:

cake

That’s a piece of cake staring me down.

Really, what I’d like to point out here is that the cake is floating and in a noticeably bad mood and I have an arm growing out of my chest. At least he got the thumbs right.

Does your work have cake day? (My work has cake day, bagel Friday, ice cream socials, raffles for sweets, random pancake breakfasts, and yearly BBQs. A lot employees gain the “freshman 15″ except they aren’t freshman and it’s probably  more than 15.)

S!#t My Husband Draws-Delicious Cookies

Since I don’t have a lot of time today, I thought I’d share with you another one of my husband’s artistic masterpieces. I get these randomly when we are chatting on IM. If they take you by surprise, you are not alone. ;-)

Each time I get a new drawing, he reaches a new high. Or low. However you want to look at it. If you missed any of the other posts, you can see them here, here, here, here, and here.

My husband is the manager of a graphics department. And every week, he goes to Publix and gets a bunch of goodies that he sits on a table in his office for all the artists and programmers to enjoy.

Around St. Paddy’s Day, he brought in my favorite cookies from Publix. A soft sugar cookie with thick frosting on top. It’s one of these beauties:

Hello, lovahhhh.

Honestly, you could put that much frosting on anything and I’d eat it. I think a stinky sock covered in frosting sounds pretty good right now.

Anyway, these cookies were particularly fresh and delicious this day and he decided to let me know through his art. I give you my husband’s interpretation of a really good cookie:

His happiness was quickly sidelined by a broken toy. Yes, he’s in his 30s. If your husband or boyfriend is in his early 20s, those toys he owns aren’t going anywhere. It’s best you know that now.

Now tell me something your significant other owns that you secretly want to burn?

Alright, me first. When I first met my husband he had these horrible cargo pants. They had a bajillion pockets and actually zipped at the knee so you could turn them into shorts. After a couple months of dating, I finally told him I hated his pants. So he stopped wearing them…

until our first anniversary when he wore them as a “surprise” for me.

S!#t My Husband Draws – Marathon Training

It’s time for another edition of S!#t My Husband Draws. If you’re new to the blog, my husband has an uncanny knack for creating graphic treasures while we are chatting on instant messenger.

I’ve been saving them for years because they make me laugh. And now I’m sharing them with you. Oh, it’s also important to know that he’s a graphic artist, so he’s actually really talented, which makes these even funnier.

If you missed any of the previous posts, you can catch up here, here, here, and here.


After my next half marathon in Clearwater, I’m going to take a little break from running to focus on strength training. But even with that break, I’m thinking about how I will train for my first marathon in November.

My friend Michelle signed up for Marathonfest – which is a training group with one of the local running stores here in Orlando. I told my husband that I was probably going to sign up for the training as well.

This is the IM where I told him I was going to sign up…and his response.

Now that we all have a graphic depiction of a pedophile, we can be sure to look out for them. Better safe than sorry.

What’s something your significant other does that always makes you laugh?

Disclaimer: I’m sure there are no pedophiles in the Track Shack training group. Pedophiles have other things to do than train for marathons.

S!#t My Husband Draws-Race Medals

Can I just say how much I love that giveaways help ME find new blogs to read? Thanks for all the comments so far. Smile And remember you still have through Monday to enter if you haven’t already.

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Today I’m doing those last minute things we do before we run races out of town, so we’ll have another edition of S!#t My Husband Draws. If you missed any of the last editions, you can see them here and here and here.

When I started running half marathons last October, the first thing I wanted to do was get a wall rack for my medals. I only had a couple at the time, but I was planning on filling it up. I decided to tell the hubs, and our IM conversation went like this:

  • Me: I want something to hold my medals.
  • Hubs: Get an octopus!

He’s helpful, no?

Before you go thinking my husband is an ass, just know that he is an observant ass, because he actually included my real medals in the octopus picture.

I should be back tomorrow with a race review for the Sarasota Half. Also, scheduling a race the night after you set the clocks forward is just cruel.

So tell me, what is something your significant other does that drives you crazy? My husband leaves little stacks of mail all over the kitchen. But if I move it all into one stack, he literally cannot find stuff. He actually has some weird system and knows where certain things are in all those little stacks.

S!#t My Husband Draws – Song Lyrics

It’s that time again. If you are amazed and awed by this post and missed the first two, you can see them here and here.

Have you ever heard the song Lips Like Sugar from Echo and the Bunnymen?

Lips like sugar.
Sugar kisses.

Just in case you haven’t, here’s the song on YouTube.

Well, for a long time the Hubs was convinced the song said, “Lips like chicken. Chicken kisses.” So, whenever the song came on the radio, he would sing it the wrong way.

Can you hear it, too?

Well, that’s the song that inspired this gem.

chicken

In case you were all unsure what “lips like chicken” really look like, this is it. Along with a mathematical equation to on how to get lips like chicken. In case you want some of your own, of course.