By the Numbers

1. My training plan for Chicago is donezo.

This plan is a combination of a Smart Coach plan and last year’s Marathonfest plan (my old running group). This time around my training is six weeks shorter (so I don’t burn out again), I’m dropping one day of Crossfit (Friday) for rest, replacing one speed run for an easy run (Tuesday), and adding a short run on Sunday if I feel like it. Which I probably won’t. My main focus will be on that Thursday run, which will likely be tempos unless I’m bored, since my goal is to get faster this time around and tempos have worked for me lately.

2.  I got new hair and an ombre.

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And then I went out for a beer afterwards, so I forgot to get a picture of the finished product. So my head in tinfoil is all you get for now.

3.  I moved to a new building at work. That makes four moves in seven months, not that I’m counting.

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4. I finished reading The Lovely Bones. (Sorry in advance for this one.)

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I wish I was part of a book club so I could bitch about this book for hours on end. A lot of people told me the book was haunting and that it really stayed with them after they were done reading it and I gotta say, that got me excited to read it.

Well, it stayed with me alright. Only because it annoyed the shit out of me. I didn’t find it haunting. That’s a strange word to describe it in my opinion. Anything that could have been haunting was described in such a sugar-coated way, that it took all the impact out of the words. It was definitely disturbing –  for about three pages, but beyond that I felt like I was reading a bunch of useless information to eventually get to a paragraph that forwards the story.

Oh, and the end…

***Spoilers***

First, the dad takes the mom back.

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She was a cheater and a barely-present mother. In fact, she left him for FIVE years and during that time, he fell in love with her “all over again” by looking at her picture. Pllleeease.

Then, Susie, who was raped and cut into pieces at 13 yrs old by the way, comes back from the dead briefly by inhabiting Ruth’s body and has no problem using Ruth to bone the guy she had a crush on before she died. So when it’s someone else’s body, I guess it’s ok.

Speaking of that ghostly sex scene, this happened.

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And the killer dies, not because he’s killed tons of girls and gets caught, but because he loses footing and freezes to death after an icicle falls on him?

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I can’t even with that book.

***End Spoilers***

5. Here’s Pants being punished.

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She’s been a pain in the ass lately by digging out all the litter in her litter box, so we make her cuddle when she’s bad. She hates it so much, which you can tell because her ear is back. She knows when it’s coming too because she tries to hide. YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM MY LOVE, PANTS.

6. I was behind this car the other day.

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Is that, like, the divorced version of the family sticker? Or the single parent version? Because it’s awesome and more men should let us know if they’re single by displaying it on their car.

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  1. Melissa

    Yay for the training plan! I’m curious to hear how you like having your speed day 2 days before the long run. I always need more time to recover (#wimp).

    I’m also glad to hear you are abusing Pants with cuddles and that you hated The Lovely Bones because so many people have told me it’s so good, but I can’t handle those kinds of books because, again, (#wimp).

    The new hair is super cute–well, the pic you texted me is. I can get down with the foil, too. I love the cut!

    • You need more time to recover because you’re actually fast. 🙂 I used to do my long runs the day after Crossfit so this plan has got to be easier!

      Muah!

  2. amanda

    If you hated the book I wouldn’t recommend the movie, I thought it was a complete waste of money. Parts of it made me feel like I was on drugs (it may have been a better experience if I had been!).

    • Good to know! I looked up the casting for the movie after I read the book and I definitely was not picturing Mark Wahlberg for the dad.

  3. Ali

    omg I have to share this: Yesterday I saw a mini-van with a sticker family. At least 4 kids, two dogs, and of course the parents… and that in and of itself is not out of the ordinary.

    The guy driving it was your standard white dude with glasses… again, not out of the ordinary.

    The thing that stuck out was the sticker on the bumper – just under the family and the only other sticker on the van – for Yandy.com.

    Have you ever been to that site? Because I have. And LOLWUT?!

    Sorry for the blog-jack but seriously, those family stickers… just say “no,” families!!

    • But you know if we saw one of those stickers with a man/woman/one-eared bunny or a man/woman/3-legged kitty, we’d totally buy them. By the way, I saw a no-tailed cat yesterday and imagined us fighting over who gets it.

      Something tells me to look up yandy.com at home instead of work. 😉

  4. Oh someone was DEFINITELY removed from that sticker family.
    I forgot how much I disliked the Lovely Bones and all the reasons why, so thanks for bringing it all back for me. Pretty sure I completely blocked the straight pubic hair line from my mind because…ick.

    And marathon training requires that much running every Saturday for an entire summer? NO THANKS.

    • Last time training was 5 months long and I thought I was going to die because of the heat! I hope to not die this time. That’s also the reason why the two marathons this year will be my last.

  5. I love this blog for posts like this. LOVE IT. I like the sticker where the Jason from Friday the 13ths is chasing and killing the family. (it’s funny)

    PS. Is Yandy.com NSFW? I don’t know what that is and I am afraid to google it.

  6. kathleen

    I think it’s smart to add another day of rest during your training… I feel like I got so burnt out from 6 hard workouts a week when I trained. Plus, I dont know about you, but my legs always feel way more fresh for a long run when I take the day off before.

    Also, I HATED THAT BOOK. I hated that book SO MUCH that I wanted to burn it after reading. It was kind of like that movie with Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz that ended up being a freaking dream and I was like, WHAT THE F. I’m getting a little fired up right now thinking about how stupid that book was. When the dead girl came back in another body and had sex… um? WTF. I’m pretty sure this conversation is not good for my blood pressure.

  7. Sara

    That single parent family sticker is much classier than the one I saw… “Dad” was viciously scraped off the rear window.

  8. Love your book recap- you’re hilarious! That Emma Stone gif is perfect, and seriously who does that?!

  9. Misty

    I wish more men would advertise that they have kids on the back of their cars (or on their foreheads, whatever). It lets you know which ones to stay away from 🙂

  10. Amy

    I read The Lovely Bones forever ago, so I don’t remember all the details, but I do remember being really confused that Susie would come back to have sex with her crush. I mean, I like sex as much as the next person, but if I get to come back from the dead, I just don’t think that would be on my to-do list. Really, that whole part could have just been deleted from the book. Not necessary.

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