This post was written over a month ago and has been sitting in my draft folder. The deed was done three weeks ago. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it, but then realized I kinda already did. Several people have asked about it too, so I wrote this not knowing when or if I’d post it.
So anyway, I decided to do it. I decided to get that boob job.
When I say I’ve decided, I mean, I have scheduled and paid for it and the surgery date is getting very close.
Ok, so let me go back.
I went to that first consultation that I wrote about and I really liked the doctor. He was informative, told me that I could choose how I wanted the implant done (under or over the muscle, saline or silicone) and told me the pros and cons of both, but really, everything he was telling me pointed toward saline and under the muscle. After I left the appointment, I wanted to sit on my decision for awhile and waited a month.
During that month, another friend gave me a doctor recommendation of someone that was highly recommended by several of her friends. When I mentioned this other doctor to my (male) trainer, he knew his name when I mentioned only that he was located in Winter Park. My trainer said that he had also heard a lot of good things about him, in particular he said, “I heard that guy is an artist.” So I thought he was worth checking out. I also hoped my trainer didn’t mean a sandwich artist.
My second consultation was so much more informative. They told me everything that was going to happen down to getting an IV and being intubated during surgery. I felt like I had a really good idea of how everything was going to go. He recommended that I get the implants over the muscle and with silicone for the best results because of all the chest strength training I do and because of my breast shape. (By the way, 90% of implants are under the muscle.)
I really liked that this doctor had specific recommendations, but I didn’t like his personality at much. Obviously that’s important since we’ll be going out for beers afterwards. He was straight-faced and all business but he spent more time with me. I was also able to try on a bra with different implant sizes so I could get an idea of what it might look like.
Ok, so that was the second appointment. A lot like the first, just more informative. I really didn’t like the idea of silicone over the muscle because it’s not common and for a few other reasons, but he’s the doctor. Shouldn’t he know best? Shortly after the appointment, Michelle sent me this article from bodybuilding.com. After I read it, I just knew he was the right doctor.
So I waited. For another month. Boobs were on my mind all day long, every.damn.day. All I did was look at other women’s boobs. I swear, I know what it’s like to be a dude now. It’s ridiculous.
The day I finally decided to call and schedule my surgery, I dialed the number, let it ring twice, and hung up. I mean, this is a pretty big deal to me. It took another 30 minutes for me to call back, and when I did, the girl that schedules surgeries was off. Of course. So I left a message, then promptly forgot I had called until the call back on Monday morning. Then I thought, well shit, just do it. So I scheduled the surgery.
And that’s where I am right now. I have a pending date for my surgery, it’s been almost two months since I scheduled, I’ve paid for everything, and I’m still not 100% about it. I’ve literally never felt so unsure about any decision I’ve made in my life. One day, I think, “this is gonna be great.” The next day, I think, “I don’t know if I want this.” I’m a mess even though everyone I know with breast implants tell me that they have no regrets and love it. (And trust me, they come out of the freakin’ woodwork like you wouldn’t believe if they know you are thinking about getting a pair of your own.)
The closer the date gets, the more worried I am that I won’t like it and will be uncomfortable in my own skin. But I think I’ll probably like it. I hope I’ll like it. I’m guess I’m just a worrier. And a second guesser.
Alright, so it’s out there now. I have a few more posts coming on the subject, but until then, my boobs and I are going to celebrate our first 4th of July together.