American Horror Story is back! That means, it’s time to recap season 2, episode 1.
If you’ve been reading for awhile, you know I recapped each episode of season 1, so I thought I would keep up the tradition. Plus, I feel like I’d really disappoint this girl if I didn’t, so let’s do this.
This year we have a completely different storyline, but we have a lot of the same actors from season 1 playing different characters. So if you recognize some faces, you are not going crazy. OR ARE YOU? This season does take place in an asylum after all.
The episode starts out with Mr. Maroon 5 (Adam LeFine Levine) and his new bride walking through the woods. They’re spending their honeymoon checking out the 12 most haunted places and having sex in them, of course. Maroon 5 knows how to woo the ladies.
Enter the asylum.
The asylum is a broken down, abandoned, old building best known for housing the serial killer, Bloody Face.
Maroon 5 and his wife are having sex in the asylum when they hear something strange. When they check it out, Maroon 5 ends up losing an arm by sticking it somewhere it didn’t belong. It’s all fun and games till you lose an arm.
Tate from season 1 is now playing Kit Walker, a gas station attendant with a Boston-type accent who’s secretly married to a black girl (frowned upon during that time). He’s also looking 50% less do-able than last season. Unfortunate.
Kit is home when sees a bright light outside and thinks it’s some racist guys that were giving him a hard time earlier at the gas station. It’s not. It’s some type of violent alien invasion. < — not joking
During the invasion, we see flashes of Kit being probed (some aliens have all the luck) and we find out that Kit’s wife becomes an unfortunate casualty.
Kit is accused of killing his wife (skinning her, actually) along with a bunch of other women, and is brought to the asylum. He’s the infamous Bloody Face! Only he maintains his innocence.
The asylum has all sorts of crazies in it. There’s this vision who killed her sister’s baby and cut off it’s ears.
There’s Chloë Sevigny, who wants to have sex with everyone.
And there’s Grace, who is accused of chopping up her family but says she’s not guilty. Or crazy. Don’t they all say that? Oh, Grace is also trying to help Kit stay out of trouble in the asylum.
Lily Rabe plays Sister Mary Eunice. Remember she played the doctor’s wife last season? Guess what she does this season?
She seems to be a good person (so far) and looks for acceptance from Sister Jude because she’s terrified of her.
Sister Jude (Constance from last season) is the head nun in the asylum.
She’s super bitchy, secretly wears a sexy red nightie underneath her robe, and daydreams about getting biblical with the Monsignor, played by Joseph Fiennes.
Enter Sarah Paulson who plays Lana Winters (she was the psychic last season). She’s a reporter who lives with her lesbian-third-grade-teacher-lover (also frowned upon during that time). She wants to write a breakthrough story about the asylum but lies to Sister Jude about her intentions.
Sister Jude is not amused.
Lana, with the help of Sister Mary Eunice, snoops around the asylum one night trying to get the inside scoop. Sister Jude shows up, so Lana hides from her in an open cell. #smart Just when Lana thinks she’s safe, she’s attacked by…something? Someone? Who knows. All I do know is that she woke up as the asylum’s newest patient.
When Lana tells Sister Jude that he has people that will be looking for her, we flash to Lana’s teacher-lover signing the committment papers because of some threats Sister Jude made that I don’t quite understand.
Sister Jude doesn’t just hate Lana. She also despises the new asylum doctor. He doesn’t take any of her crap and she’s super suspicious of him because four people have gone missing since he arrived. (I guess now she has morals?) Incidentally, we also know that the doctor has been feeding something (presumably inhuman) that lives in the asylum some curious looking meat. Mmm…missing patients taste like chicken.
Speaking of the evil doctor, he grabs Kit from his cell to experiment on his “evil” mind all Clockwork Orange style.
That’s when he notices something implanted in his neck.
When the doctor pulls it out, the chip grows little spider legs and runs off. Alien technology in 1964 FTW!
Eventually we get back to present time where Maroon 5’s wife (who happens to be Channing Tatum’s wife in real life) is trying to get help but realizes that all the doors to the asylum are now locked. In the last scene, we see some The Hills Have Eyes type weirdos looking rather hungry as they attack her.
This episode was so jam-packed with information, that I’m not sure I loved it. The whole alien storyline along with the freaky asylum monster-things that eat humans seem like a weird mix. The season 1 premiere was definitely better in my opinion, but I’m going to stick with it for a bit and see where it goes.
What did you think, besides “Channing Tatum is married?”