In Time in Two Minutes

I watched In Time on Sunday. It wasn’t good or bad, it was just kinda “eh” which is a total bummer because this movie had serious potential. The concept was really cool and of course JT is in it and he’s not terrible on the eyes. But in case you want to save 2 hours of your life and watch something else that would probably be a better use of your time, I am going to sum it up for you.

All people stop aging at 25.

Once you turn 25, you’re “clock” starts. You get one year to live and do with as you wish. And you can see your time remaining on your arm.

The world’s currency is time. You buy things with time and spend it just like you would money.

You also earn time at your job. Poor people literally live day to day with only hours of time left. Once your time runs out, you die. Rich people have years of time and since they have access to more time so often, they can technically live forever (barring any fatal accidents).

You can give or take other people’s time by holding their wrist, sleeping or not, and with or without consent.

JT is given over 100 years of time by a rich guy that was over 100 years old and tired of living.

JT’s mother is almost out of time. She dies literally seconds before he can give it to her. She is also hot.

People live in Time Zones. JT leaves his poor Time Zone to check out the rich people’s Time Zone, something his mother and him always wanted to do together.  Too bad he was accused of stealing all that time he got from the rich, hot guy because now he is wanted by the Timekeepers, who are basically police in sexy leather.

Enter Sylvia. She’s hot too. Everyone be hot in this movie!

Sylvia has seen JT around town and she likey what she sees. They end up skinny dipping together and near-kissing, which means they are totes made for each other. Too bad JT kidnaps her after he’s accused of stealing all that time because now she’s so conflicted. I mean, he’s hot. But he did just kidnap her. So there’s that.

Sylvia’s dad is Pete from Mad Men. He owns a bunch of time banks and is a total time-hoarding dbag.

JT and Sylvia spend the rest of the movie running because it’s super important to get everywhere quickly.

Sylvia is good at two things: keeping her makeup absolutely perfect even though she has nothing with her and running long distances in 4-inch heels.

Also, I have no idea where she got that dress.

Sylvia starts liking JT again. They do dirty things with their private parts but the Timekeepers catch up to them so they have to make like a tree. JT tells her to put her clothes on and they are quickly out the door. Sylvia can put on pantyhose fast, because they were out the door within 3 seconds and she had those puppies back on.

Between all the running and looking hot, JT and Sylvia start robbing her father’s banks of time and giving it to the people in the poor Time Zones. JT thinks no one should be immortal and wants to give all people equal time so everyone has a chance at living and the Time Zones won’t be segregated.

Now don’t waste that 2 hours I just gave you. :-)

 

 

19 Comments

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19 responses to “In Time in Two Minutes

  1. Too late I watched it months ago. I, too, had looked forward to it, and I, too, felt meh about it. Just, eh, meh, and all that.

  2. I love this!

    I watched it a few weeks ago. It was alright, def glad I redboxed it, and I won’t watch it again on purpose.

    I love Pete from MadMen. He is the bomb at playing the ultimate dbag. It’s like his face was just made for it!

    And the dick in a box pic. nice touch!

  3. Yeah, I had already watched it to, but this synopsis is SPOT ON.

    I also wondered about this chick’s ability to run in 4-in stilettos.

  4. Haha I love your breakdown of the movie…..I could have done without watching it. Although JT needed some more shirtless scenes and it would have been MUCH better

  5. Oh my God, I am laughing so hard at my desk right now. This sums it up perfectly. Good potential, poor execution.

  6. Ha! Man, wish I would have read this before actually sitting through the movie. I like your version better. Only, there’s not enough shirtless JT, of course there wasn’t enough of that in the movie either.

    Something you missed, everyone is supposed to be “25” but the cast sure looks closer to “35” to me

  7. David

    Nice synopsis – defintely appreciate the two hours of my life I wouldn’t have gotten back!

    Sounds a teensy bit like “Logan’s Run” – everyone lives only til age 30 (or 21 in the book), a guy and girl are running and chased by enforcers. (Yes, I’m dating myself big-time.)

  8. With so many beautiful people in this movie, I may rent it and play it on mute while reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

  9. your captions always crack me up! i haven’t seen this movie but i thought the commercials looked really good

  10. Amber K

    The whole concept sounded so interesting and even your recap makes it sound great. But if all of that is only “meh,” I won’t bother. I can always wait until it shows up on Netflix!

  11. Michelle

    Bwahahahha. Sexy leather police. I love it. I also wished they had spent a few extra months fleshing out the concept or something.

  12. Sarah S

    I am really disappointed that this movie was not good. I am, however, grateful that you prevented me from wasting 2 hours I don’t have. Also, your recaps are generally better than whatever you are recapping.

  13. Ha, this is the best recap ever! I too thought this movie had potential & I love me some JT, but you’re right it was just alright. I’ll never complain about eye candy though :)

  14. haha your movie recaps kill me. love this! i want to see it now actually, just cuz!

  15. I’m glad you wrote this, because I was still considering watching this movie. Now, do you think watching a marathon of ’48 Hours: Hard Evidence’ on the OWN Network would be an adequate replacement for these 2 hours? Or is that still borderline waste?

  16. I liked it… but I’m pretty weird and I watch anything with Amanda S in it. I love her and her ability to run in those heels. Girls got skills yo. Oh and David from Rosanne…I just love that guy.

  17. Ms. Teri

    HA! You crack me up, Ms. Paula!

    I love your recap. I may watch this movie in time. Get it? In time… the name of the movie. I so enjoy amusing myself sometimes. ;)

  18. I saw that movie and your little synopsis is spot on lol. I wish I had read this before I watched that dumb thing.

  19. Pingback: Django Unchained in Two Minutes | Eat: Watch: Run

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