Alternate title: How my parents made sure I never had sex.
It’s been a long time since I’ve done a Flashback Friday. I’m really good at starting up recurring posts and then abandoning them completely. So it’s time to bring it back, even if just for one week because I’m almost certain I will regret this.
You might remember, I dyed my hair red last week. While I was dying it, I posted a picture on Instagram out of boredom.
Then I got a few comments.
Those comments made me think about how often I change my hair and all the terrible hair cuts I’ve had in the past. Today I’m going to share some of them with you. These are pictures of pictures so they aren’t the best quality, but if we’re being real here, no one needs to see these clearer than they already are. So get ready for some of the worst pictures ever taken of me. (You can thank my BF for digging some of these up.)
1. The Bowl Cut
My parents started me out pretty young with the terrible haircuts. Since I don’t remember going to the salon, I’m pretty sure an actual bowl was used in the making of this hair. If you stare long enough, I kinda look like Danny Bonaduce. (This picture is Pants approved, by the way.)
2. The Tight Perm
(This is for you, Verlin.)
I hated smiling because I had terrible teeth and was super embarrassed about them. I got this perm the summer before 8th grade. The first day of class, I walked in and Kris Winkle (yeah, I’ll call him out) said, “WHAT did you do to your hair!?” That pretty much scarred me for the rest of the year.
3. The Feather
Mmm. I loooved having teeth like that growing up. Gave me so much confidence!
I remember my dad made me wear that dress and I hated it. I’m pretty sure this is the only time I wore it and I remember being thankful that I was still growing because I knew it wouldn’t fit for long. Dresses should not have bibs or look like couches. But I think we have other issues to deal with in this picture, like that blue eyeshadow.
4. The Feathered Mullet
This might be one of my favorites. I like how the feathering really covers up my earlobes. Couldn’t someone at least have repainted my nails?
5. The Disheveled Mullet
That was my first and last trip to Fantastic Sams. My mom LOVED it. I was mortified. Even in the 80s. I cried after I got this hair cut and had to deal with it forever while it was growing out. I know you can’t tell from the picture, but that’s a Belinda Carlisle pin I’m wearing on my shirt. I couldn’t afford the t-shirt, so I bought the pin and wore it all.the.time.
6. The Teased Bangs
That’s me and Lisa. She is going to KILL me for posting this but how can I let such a treasure go unseen? That is the tight perm from the previous picture growing out. Not completely horrible, but you can’t deny the awkwardness of the spoon in my mouth, a happy face made out of Oreos in our ice cream, and my supremely comfortable hand pose.
7. The Scrunchie
Oh hey there attractive couch!
This was my matching phase. My earrings matched my scrunchie which matched my shorts. Not horrible, but very 80s. And now it reminds me of The Graduate.
So there you have it. I showed you mine, now you show me yours. Pretty please? Send me your worst hair cut picture at email@example.com (and your blog link if you have one) and I’ll put them in a post in a week or so.