American Horror Story in Two Minutes (Episode: Spooky Little Girl)

It’s time to recap Season 1, Episode 9.

This time we start back in 1947. A dentist is living in the murder house (I assume he’s living there) and he’s seeing a new patient, Elizabeth Short a.k.a The Black Dahlia (played by Mena Survari). Mena will do anything to pay for her dental work, and I mean anything. Oh, except use money because she has none.

The dentist ignores that she has no money and gives her anesthesia anyway. Then the dentist has sex with her while she’s out cold. He tries to wake her up afterwards, but she doesn’t. Whoopsie! Better dispose of the body. Good thing the abortionist shows up and is so good with a knife. He helps the dentist out by carving up the body in easy-to-carry pieces, draining the blood, and throwing it in the grass somewhere.

Back to present time.

Everyone wants to get in on Ben’s hot manly action. First, the maid wants in.

Then his new patient wants in. Oh look, it’s dead Mena Survari and she still doesn’t have any money. Probably similar to her real life because most of her movies suck.

Then Hayden wants in.

Then the maid and Mena Survari want in together.

And then the maid wants in again.

I’m sure Ben is glad those ab exercises are paying off with all this potential action. After a few daydreams of tagging all those ladies, Ben is all, “HELL NO you saucy temptress, I love my wife and you can GTFO.” So she does. And BOOM…Ben can see the old maid finally.

At one point, Hayden’s sister and a police man show up at the house thinking Ben had something to do with her disappearance. Hayden appears, says she’s fine, and that Ben and her are happy together. So the sister and police man leave.

WHY DOESN’T BEN THINK THIS IS WEIRD?! For the love! You buried Hayden in the back yard!

Hayden also seduces Constance’s useless-to-the-storyline-until-now young boyfriend because she wants to know if she can have sex with someone living. The answer is yes, yes she can.

The fling doesn’t last long because Hayden ends up killing him in a rage, the abortionist cuts him up and drains his blood for her, and Larry the burned-faced guy disposes of the body because he owes Hayden a favor. Now we get another ghost in the house. Because that’s what we need.

Meanwhile, Vivien is in the mental hospital and finds out her twins have two different fathers. (Is that even possible to know in the womb?) The maid overhears Ben getting the news on the phone and tells Constance. Constance puts the smack down on Tate for doing the humpty dance with Vivien. Then Tate begs Constance not to tell Violet.

Vivien maintains that she was raped by someone in a leather suit and no one believes her except Constance. Ben’s cheating ass got all high and mighty and went to the hospital to give Vivien a piece of his mind.

Hayden tells Ben that Vivien is having an affair with the hot security guard. So Ben sets off the house alarm so he’ll show up. When hot security guard arrives, Ben accuses him of the affair. HSG denies it – sort of because he doesn’t really say it’s not true – and Ben believes him.

Finally, Constance meets up with the medium again. Constance asks her if it’s possible for a spirit and a human to have a child together. The medium told a long story about a piece of paper inside the Pope’s Box which basically says that a spirit and a human conceiving signifies the devil himself and the end of the world.

  • So this was my least favorite episode so far. It’s starting to bother me that Ben doesn’t find it weird that Hayden keeps showing up in the house or that she’s alive.
  • How many more things do you think Mena Survari can star in with the word American in it before we poke our eyes out?
  • Did you find my American Beauty reference? :-)
  • Is Tate the devil or is the devil working through him?

Past recaps: Pilot, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8

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Comments

  1. Becky says

    I am so annoyed that Ben is in denial that Hayden is dead! It’s like, really? Really? Really? And I’m rather not sure how this anti-Christ thing is going to go. It’s getting rather tangled w so many stories. I’m still curious what happened w that weird baby w the first family. I bet next week’s ep is going to have a crazy thing happen and end! On phone so no idea what others wrote.,

  2. says

    I agree that this episode was a little less than for me. I’m not too sure I can keep up with all the extra ghosts and non-ghosts…who the heck is a ghost?? I don’t understand the whole ghosts can/cannot have sex with living people. Wasn’t that the whole reason why Tate and Violet couldn’t get busy on the beach? Totally lost.

  3. says

    “How many more things do you think Mena Survari can star in with the word American in it before we poke our eyes out?”

    Well definitely one more — American Reunion. Ha ha.

    Does this mean people are going to stop searching for hot sexy maid and clicking on that picture??? *sad*

  4. Emily says

    Haha… The picture with Ben in Vivien’s hospital room cracked me up. That’s inappropriate, right?

    I’m at the same point with American Horror Story… I like the story lines, but they just need to hurry up and go somewhere. Also, Ben thinks his wife is crazy, yet it’s normal for the woman he buried in the back yard to be hanging out. What the heck?

  5. Julia says

    You left out the part about Ben seeing the maid as an old lady! After he starts to believe his wife was raped, the maid says he’s finally starting to see things as they really are. I think that is a big deal.

    • says

      I wondered that from the beginning..what are they going to do to have a season 2…but….then I got into the show….still…are they going to all realize its haunted finally? Will they cleanse the house and save all the souls that need saving? Will they be fighting an anti-Christ? Will it wrap up in 1 season..or actually move on to a season 2? Or will they cliff hang us and never close it? Oh….I’d be pissed with that.

      I do feel that the teaser for next week…that something big is going to be revealed and then it’ll end til Feb or something. Like Walking Dead did…

  6. Misty says

    I’m make a plot guess. I think that the wife will lose one of the babies and not know which one she’s left with. But it’ll totally end up being the devil baby.

  7. Laurie says

    I was kinda blah on this episode too, it is just getting too weird! When is Ben going to realize that Hayden is a ghost! Also, there are way too many ghosts in the house! I wonder what will happen to Vivian when she has the babies, will she die? I heard next season they will have a new family in the house, so it should be interesting of what will happen to Ben, Vivian and Violet.

  8. Stefanie says

    Um yes. I find it totally weird that Ben isn’t scared shitless that Hayden keeps on showing up. Hellllllloooo. Why is this still happening? I am bothered that Hayden is basically ‘running the show’ in the ghost house too. Since when did she become ghost queen? I was hoping for some closure on Violet. She wasn’t even in this episode.

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