The Odd Couple

Have you ever talked to enough couples about relationship type stuff and they make you realize you might be the weirdo in the sea of normal relationships out there?

I find that the more I talk to other couples, the more I realize how different my hubs and I are from most of them. It’s not a good or a bad thing. It’s just a different thing. We do what works for us. Other couples do what works for them. So, here are the things we do that seem to be different from most everyone else.

We dated for 7 years before we got married.

Yep. We were on the fast train to Love Town. It also took us 4 years to move in together.

We have separate bank accounts.

When I say we have separate bank accounts, I mean we have NO joint accounts whatsoever. Since we lived together for 3 years before we got married, we had a bill paying system that worked for us. Once we got married, there was no reason to change it, so we didn’t. We also don’t intend on getting a joint account. When we go out to dinner or the movies, sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay. Sometimes we split it. We don’t really keep tabs on who pays what. I do think hubs pays for me more than I pay for him, but I try to contribute as much as I can.

Plus, it’s easier to buy gifts for each other and pay for secret hotel stays with strangers without the other one knowing.

 

We have separate bathrooms.

I wake up before hubs, so taking a shower and getting ready in the master bathroom would wake him up. So I get ready in the hall bathroom. Hubs wakes up about a half hour after I do and gets ready in the master bathroom. Separate bathrooms is more of a courtesy thing, however I do have a ton of bathroom stuff that keeps multiplying and may soon need its own guest house.

We go to bed at the same time – 99% of the time.

I can’t think of one couple I know that does this but us. Unless it’s a night where I have to get up early the next morning for a run, we always go to bed at the same time. And sometimes even then, hubs will go to bed early with me. He loves going to bed early, by the way. <—- sarcasm

We watch all the same TV shows.

I know couples that have TVs in different rooms and watch their own shows separately. We kinda see our TV shows as together time so we like to watch the same stuff. If one of the shows we like is on, but the other person is busy, neither of us will watch it until we can watch it together.

We close the bathroom door.

I had to get used to this one when I first met my hubs. He’s a door closer. I’m not. I don’t know what makes me so comfortable that I can plop down on the toliet and pee in front of (certain) friends and family, but I can. So, we close bathroom doors in our household.

We don’t wear our wedding rings.

Hubs doesn’t wear his because he hates wearing jewelry (even watches). You know those paper arm bands they put on you if you’re over 21 at a bar? Hubs can’t even wear those if they are on too tight. I think it’s a chlostrophobia thing? I wear mine more often than he does, but usually I wear big, gaudy costume jewelry that’s worth $5 instead.

We work together.

I know there are other couples out there that do this. Hubs and I work together, but we don’t work on the same project. So unless he or I make an effort to see each other at work, we don’t. We also drive to work separately most of the time. We run separate errands during lunch or want to leave at different times. It just works out better that way most of the time.

 

What do you do that’s different from everyone else?

40 Comments

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40 Responses to The Odd Couple

  1. Pam

    This is so interesting! I love hearing how other people’s relationships work. I think my husband and I are pretty typical in the areas that you mentioned. But we can be WEIRD. We share a very strange sense of humor when we’re alone together that I don’t think others would really “get.” Also, we met in high school and dated 7 years before we got married. Our first date was in 1997 and we’re still happy. Is that weird?

  2. linzlikewhoa

    A few of my fellow single girl friends and I were discussing how we can’t imagine ever having to share a bathroom with a man. I think you guys found the perfect solution to that quandary!

  3. Rachael @ Happy Healthy Runner

    Ohhh I like this. We mostly go to bed at the same time too. And we watch all the same TV shows, it’s a cardinal sin for one of us to watch one of our shows without the other. And we most definitely close the bathroom door. Sean calls us a “closed door couple”.

    I’ve found that not a lot of significant others (it seems to me) are very encouraging of their spouses going out without them. We are though. I think it’s healthy to get out of the house without each other sometimes. Sometimes I’ll go out with a girlfriend and he’ll go out with said girlfriends significant other. People think it’s weird that the four of us aren’t together, but sometimes you need girl time and they need guy time.

    We also never lived together before we were married. We got persecuted for that all the time with the whole “living together will be so hard” but honestly, we live together just fine. (not to say we didn’t stay over at each others places bc we did, but we never owned a place together).

    Sorry for the novel. I like relationship-y topics, it’s a nice break from running sometimes 🙂

  4. Alecia@tincantreader

    We worked together for a long time.
    We watch the same shows, sometimes not together, but we will still discuss the show later.
    We never go sleep together. I toss, he snores, retail jobs, kids… and I need to be beyond passed out before he even enters the room.
    I can’t recall if our bathrooms even have doors?

  5. Cyndie

    Loved reading this…so fascinating to me. I’ve only been married three-ish months, so I haven’t really given much thought to what’s “normal” in a marriage…the husband and I ALWAYS go to bed at the same time though…makes it easy for sexytime!

    And I make him breakfast every.single.morning (which is apparently weird because all of my girlfriends talk about how their husbands surprise them by making pancakes, pumpkin spice lattes…nope. I make Alex all of his meals. so far.)

    • Well, your husband definitely found a catch in you! I would love it if my hubs was a cook. We don’t cook at all, so I guess we order from the take-out window for each other. 🙂

  6. Aw I liked this post a lot– I’ve been wanting to know more about you two love birds!

    That’s great that you guys work together but don’t really act like it. I’ve heard of a lot of relationships going sour that way. In my opinion, I like the little quirks you two have! It makes it interesting 😀

  7. Fun post! I think every relationship is weird, honestly! Mine included. People think it’s weird that I do not cook at all, but my hubby makes all of the meals. He LOVES being in the kitchen, where as if I was not married to him my oven would NEVER be used.
    My relationship with my hubby is a lot like you with yours! We dated for 5 years before marriage, we go to bed at the same time, watch the same shows, and also have separate bank accounts. The only reason we share a bathroom is b/c we only have one, otherwise we would have separate bathrooms also.
    PS. great photos;-)

    • Glad to hear I’m not alone! I wouldn’t call it weird that your hubs loves to cook, I’d called that lucky. Tell him to will some of that kitchen love this way.

  8. I don’t think any of that sounds that weird. We had separate bank accounts, combined them, then separated again and combined at last. We watch most of the same shows, go to bed together Close the door. The biggest thing we have done different than most of our friends is NO KIDS.

    The Kidless Kronicles

  9. Paula, I really dig this post and sent it on to my husband who thinks we’re incredibly bizarre. Wait, not that you’re bizarre, that’s not what I’m saying. We also go to bed at the same time, have different bathrooms, and recently split up our bank accounts.
    And as far as weird habits go, we don’t have any because we’re perfect. Hypothetically though, if we weren’t perfect, we would play “not it” like nobody’s business for driving (we like going places best when chauffered), give everyone and everything nicknames, and he would be my personal shopper and help me match my outfits. Hypothetically speaking that is…

  10. We actually do go to sleep together, but sometimes he sits in bed on the computer while I try to sleep. It works. Mostly our weirdness is goofy in jokes and making stupid faces at each other.

  11. The wifey and I watch the pretty much the same shows and won’t watch them until we both can watch at the same time. If there isn’t a similar show on and on doesn’t like, the other plays on the laptop or iPad. We both pee with the door open. Although I have been known to forget to close it while she is on the phone with her parentals. 🙂

    It’s very rare that we argue but if we are out with friends and have a disagreement about something, we save it to discuss later. Neither one of us are big about having arguments in front of people or in public.

    We also both like and have a guys/girls night out, now and then, but we prefer to do and enjoy experiences together. We never do the “I need time away from you” time.

    I don’t like to compare what we do to what other couples do because what we have works and has worked for the past 8 years. I think when couples try to change to something they’re not, they can run into problems.

  12. Lee

    I don’t know if this is weird, but we work completely opposite hours from each other.

    And we let our dog sleep in between us in the bed. I guess that one is weird.

  13. I have a secret, weird “thing” with learning about couples. I’m not sure where the fascination comes from. Thanks for feeding my weird obsession 😉

  14. I kind of love this…so fun to read! My fav is that you close the bathroom door. I’m more like you and can tend to leave the door open myself! Haha.

  15. We always go to bed at the same time too! Even if I’m not tired and he is, I’ll go to bed and lay there with him or read or something.

  16. Wow…count me in the minority, because almost all of these are true for me and Lucas as well. In fact, the only one we really don’t do is go to bed at the same time, and that’s because of the nature of his work 🙂

  17. So interesting Paula … I love the independence y’all maintain. Pretty sure you two are BRILLIANT. Writing down that separate bank accounts thing… I think the TV thing is going to be the deal breaker for Brian and I. He hates EVERYTHING I watch and he only likes Fox news…. soooo no TV together time for us. This is a HUGE major issue because TV is my best friend.

  18. Cool. I love hearing about other couples.

    We are a “closed door” couple too, and that’s completely because of me. My husband has never seen me use the bathroom, not even one time in seven years. We also sleep in separate rooms 1-2 times per week because he snores like a rhino and I have super sensitive hearing. He thinks he needs to “snore it out” in order to get a good’s night sleep and well, I’m not one to argue with that.

  19. this was so fun to read, i may do my own post on it!
    as i was reading, i thought we were the complete opposite of you: we got married after dating only 3 months, we didn’t live together beforehand (kinda didn’t have time, lol), we pee with the door open and we have almost all joint accounts…but then again, we almost always watch tv together, and we always go to bed at the same time.

  20. Me and the BF also go to bed at the same time. I actually think it’s kind of odd, but he never wants me to have to go to bed alone (I’m the one that usually goes earlier b/c I wake up earlier). We also have different bathrooms for the same reason you do!

    Hmm…I can’t think of something that we do differently right now. Not sure why b/c I’m sure we’re totally unique, but nothing is coming to mind.

  21. My wife and I have separate bank accounts as well. They say that money is one of the leading causes of arguments among married couples, so why not eliminate it from the equation.

    The other things we do that is a little different that other couples is that I do most of the cooking. I get home before my wife does, so I hit the grocery store on my way home and have a meal waiting for her when she gets home.

    • I love that you do that! And I love that you don’t mind going to the grocery store. When my hubs and I grocery shop, he speed walks the cart through the aisles so we get it over with faster. By the time I’ve picked out the peanut butter, he’s in the next aisle and I have to run to catch up to him.

  22. It took me nearly five years of dating + moving across the country for him to FINALLY say I love you (he had been saying it for years but I was a bitch and never said it back).

    We have separate bank accounts, watch the same TV shows/sports games, close the bathroom door, go to bed at different times (I’m a grandma + he works nights/I work days), neither of us want kids, and we aren’t too interested in getting married either, although we intend on spending the rest of our lives together. His super-traditional mom is going to be pissed about us not getting married and making it official, but oh-freakin-well.

  23. Jessica @ Sushi and Sit-Ups

    I shut the bathroom door too. I’ve tried keeping it open before but I chickened out at the last second!

  24. LOL I’m also a pee with the door open I really don’t care who sees gal while my hubby is totally a close the door guy. We also have separate bank accounts for the same reasons you do… although when we decided to be all grown up and get wills when I was pregnant our attorney said that was fine BUT although “mine is mine” and “his is his” and we don’t ever look at the other’s we should actually have them be joint… in case (not to be morbid) the other one dies you can access that money to pay bills without having to wait for it to go through the courts… hmmm…. never thought of that… being able to pay the electricity god forbid would indeed be a good thing 😉

  25. Cat@BudgeBlonde.com

    Great post!!! I would say our relationship is far from normal at the present time. We live in a 270 sq ft apartment in the Caribbean where my husband is a medical school student. We kind of never see each other!!!

  26. Stefanie

    Before the hub and I moved into a smaller dwelling, we used to have seperate bathrooms. BEST IDEA EVER. My previous boss just built his dream home, which included his and hers kitchens. Good idea. No one loses a finger in an arguement that way.

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  28. Amanda@Saving Money Fashionably

    I thought this was too cute! I had a good comibnation of you and Newlyweds on a Budget! It’s kinda funny!

  29. I love this post!!! Did you meet at work? There are actually quite a few married couples at my office.

    And you two are “unique” not “odd” 🙂

  30. I love reading about how other couples do things. The only “weird” thing I can think of is that my husband always, always, always opens the door for me. Including the car door. We actually have had people see this and comment that it’s a “honeymoon” thing. But we’ve been together for almost nine years. It’s just how we are!

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