Today’s post is dedicated to my older brother, Tim. Now, I’m not sure if you’ve ever grown up with older siblings. I’m talking about the kind that can drive by the time your one and can kick your butt because they weigh 7x as much as you. But it goes a little something like this:
And like this:
Let’s just say that both of my brothers gave me plenty of sisterly torture growing up. But I gave them plenty of poopy diapers in return. And that was just last week.
Of course I grew up, they stayed skinny, and I got fatter than them so it’s much harder for them to torture me now.
Sometimes having big brothers wasn’t so bad. Like here:
So my three things today are my favorite memories of my brother Tim (my other bro, Tom, will get his post later).
1. Growing up during my school years, Tim lived in Illinois and I lived in Florida. So, he would fly down to visit my mom and I. I always looked forward to his visits. Honestly, I thought having older brothers was the coolest.thing.ever. (Still do!)
During one visit, Tim promised he’d take me mini-golfing. (Remember, he can drive and has a job. I’m 10 and think a quarter is a lot of money.) Instead of taking me, he set up a cup in the house, gave me a putter, set a golf ball like, 10 feet away from the cup, and told me he would only take me mini-golfing if I made 3 putts in a row.
I tried. Missed them all. And was sufficiently traumatized for life.
(By the way, he eventually took me. He just waited it out a littttttle too long.)
2. During one of my trips out to San Diego to visit Tim, we went to a wine bar to meet up with a couple of his buddies. One of Tim’s favorite phrases is “Doh!” so he was trying to convince his friend that he was a writer on the Simpsons for 3 years. The conversation went like this:
- Friend to me: Did Tim write for The Simpsons for 3 years?
- Me: Well, it was more like 2 1/2 years.
- Tim: True, there was the 6 month internship.
We were laughing over it later on but didn’t realize he actually believed us. He called my sister-in-law the next day to confirm with her.
Lesson learned: If it sounds too amazing to be true and it’s coming from our mouths, it probably is.
3. If you’ve been reading this blog for a little bit, of course you know this had to make the list. My brother gave me away at my wedding.
Thanks for stepping in when Dad couldn’t make it, Big Bro.
Honorable Mention: Tim taking me to my first R-rated movie. Well, not the first one I had ever seen, but the first one where he considered me “old enough” that I was worthy of seeing an R-rated movie with him without yelling “boobies!” if I saw them. It was Rainman.
Do you remember the first R-rated movie you saw? I remember the first one everyone in my family took me too. Mom (Cocktail), Dad (Nuts with Nick Nolte and Barbara Streisand), and Tom (Link – a monkey-horror movie with Elisabeth Shue).
Yeah, “Watch” isn’t in my blog title for nothing.