How to Spend Friday Night When You Look Like You Used too Much Self-tanner

Since I look like a recovering burn victim from my chemical peel, last night the hubs and I decided to stay in and watch a movie. I’ve been wanting to see some of the Oscar movies for awhile, so I was all happy that we got The Social Network from Netflix even though my queue said it was on a long wait.

In true form, we didn’t watch The Social Network at all and instead rented not one, but two horror movies. We even put The Social Network in the player and started it, but something about that movie doesn’t scream “Friday at midnight fun” for us.

So, first up:

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This is an older movie, made about 3 years ago. We caught 10 minutes of Splinter last week on the SyFy network and thought it looked pretty decent, so we decided to rent it instead of watching the edited monstrosity that SyFy can put together.

This one stars Paulo Constanzo (the dude from Road Trip) and Jill Wagner (the female host of Wipeout) as Seth and Polly.

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Seth and Polly are a vacationing couple that get carjacked by an escaped convict and his drugged out girlfriend. During a gas station stop, the druggy girlfriend gets infected by a parasite that uses splinters to infect it’s victims and turn them into mutated hosts. Seth, Polly, and the escaped convict get trapped inside the gas station and have to work together to survive.

This movie definitely gets B-movie status, but hubs and I both liked this one. A lot.

The mutated creatures are done really well (and disgustingly I might add). Whoever did the makeup on this movie has a sick imagination. Jill Wagner is actually a decent actress, and the movie doesn’t fall into many of those lame clichés that a lot of horror movies do:

The victim, trying to avoid the killer, walks backwards…into the killer.

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Of course, the movie isn’t perfect. Seth is a puss compared to his “firecracker” girlfriend, but overall we were really glad we waited to rent it on Xbox360.

If you’re looking for a decent horror movie and don’t have to cover your eyes when blood splatters or gooey stuff oozes from body parts, you might like this one.

My rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

Next up:

This scene never happened in the movie.

We both liked the first Paranormal Activity and hubs heard good things about the second one. I wasn’t interested in the second one, but for some reason it sounded better than The Social Network after watching Splinter.

This one is more of a prequel. It’s the story leading up to what happened in the first one. So, the stars of the first are back in this one for a smaller role.

If you saw the first one, the premise is pretty similar. A couple thinks their house is broken into when they come home to it trashed. They set up cameras around the house for safety. Things start going bump in the night.

This one contains more explanation of why the house/family is haunted, and it’s not a bad movie. But it’s also not good. (Hubs thought it was decent.)

My main problem: This one is trying to do the same thing the first one was, which is make what is happening seem real through only hand-held cameras and the cameras set up in the house.

This worked with the first one because it used 2 unknown actors. But this one stars Sprague Grayden who I know from Jericho and a whole season of 24. And if you look her up on IMDB, she’s been in at least one episode of every TV show known to man. So, the “realism” was killed a bit for me there.

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My other problem: NOTHING happened until the end of the movie. A door opening in the night or a baby mobile spinning on it’s own isn’t spine tingling to me. But a chic standing over her boyfriend watching him sleep for 4 hours (like in the first one) is creepy.

This movie had maybe 3 moments that were chilling. But overall, it was just a poor attempt to recapture the actual chills of the first one.

Unfortunately, I can also see how they can make another prequel AND a sequel to this one. So I’m sure we’ll see more of where this is coming from even if it’s straight to video.

My rating: 5.5 out of 10 stars

I’ll have some more updates on my chemical peel later. For now, I’m going to find something to do around the house so I don’t scare small children and animals in public with my red, self-tanner-gone-wrong looking face.

I might even do a run on the treadmill to see how much more red my face can get just for fun.

What did you do last night?

7 Comments

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7 Responses to How to Spend Friday Night When You Look Like You Used too Much Self-tanner

  1. d.a.r.

    Ahhh that part where she stood for four hours looking at her sleeping boyfriend TOTALLY creeped me out!! We just watched that last weekend, ha!

  2. Stacie

    Man, you are brave. I am a total wimp when it comes to scary movies. They make me feel like I am going to have a panic attack!! Haha

  3. I just can’t do scary movies! I literally will have nightmares every time!

    • I still have nightmares! It’s just a train wreck I can’t look away from. I get the worst nightmares with zombie movies and those are actually my favorite. hee!

  4. Do you get Netflix instant? Sounds like it’d save you some moooolah.

    • Yes! But most of the time their watch instantly doesn’t have stuff I want to watch. Not a lot of new movies on there, so we don’t watch instantly too often. And of course, when they do have something I want to see, I’m never in the mood for it. Sheesh. I am hard to please!

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