How to Depress Yourself in 90 Minutes

Posted on June 13, 2013 by

I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix lately. If I work from home, generally I stream a movie in the background so I don’t have to listen to Pants dig in her litter box all day. The only catch is, I have to watch something that hubs doesn’t want to watch. If one of us watches something alone that the other wants to see, the non-watcher is instantly not interested in watching that thing anymore. I can’t explain it. It’s just what happens. That basically leaves me with two kinds of movies to watch: depressing dramas and depressing romances.

First I watched Young Adult. (I think Charlize has Bitchy Resting Face there. < — Clicking that link is worth it, trust me.)

I actually heard this one was a comedy. It is not a comedy. Charlize’s character is so sadly pathetic, it was hard to even watch, but somehow I powered through because I was hoping for a happy ending. Didn’t get it.

So after the movie was over, I was sufficiently depressed but oddly feeling good that at least I wasn’t a delusional alcoholic trying to break up the marriage of my high school boyfriend.

I needed a little pick-me-up, so I decided to watch Blue Valentine. (Spoiler: It didn’t pick me up.)

I read good things about this movie awhile back so I’ve been wanting to see it. Plus, it’s a love story. It stays it right there on the poster. And, the V in Valentine is a heart! If that doesn’t say happiness, I don’t know what does. Ok, I guess the “Blue” in the title doesn’t but I didn’t think that part through.

I was completely depressed and stressed out for two days over this movie. My God. Ridiculous. It was all I could think about. I’m not even a big Ryan Gosling fan but why would someone do that to him? WHY!

I was so bothered by it that I had to get “grief counseling” from my co-worker. Grief counseling about fictional characters. (This is my life.) I don’t know why I even try watching dramas and romances anymore. I’m way too emotional about it. It took me five years to get over the ending to Beaches, I should have learned by now.

Luckily, I was cheered up last night when hubs and I went to see This is the End. For the love, go see that movie. It is so, so funny. It’s worth it just for Michael Cera alone.

***

I just realized we have less than a month before Google Reader goes away. I’ve tried out Feedly (dislike) and Bloglovin (not bad) but I’m still using GReader for all my blogs because I fear change. I think I’m going to go with Bloglovin at the end of the month. What are you all using now?

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Birthday Goodness

Posted on June 11, 2013 by

So, the birthday was good. Really good.

I took the day off work and slept in, continuing my long-standing tradition of never working or going to school on my birthday. When I woke up, hubs had already made a trip to Publix for some groceries (I love when I don’t have to grocery shop) and then he brought me breakfast.

Hubs never calls me Paula, so it’s weird to see my name on the cake. That’s a chocolate chip cookie cake with a layer of frosting in the middle. If you think there’s too much frosting, then we just can’t be friends anymore. Or, we can be friends and you can give me all your extra frosting. Yes. That sounds like the right thing to do.

Speaking of that cake, I’m not proud of what I did.

I am not exaggerating -  I ate that all in one day. Hubs had two small bites. When he saw the cake later that night (because apparently he has self control and wasn’t hovering over it all day), he said, “this is why we can’t have sweets in the house.”

After I had my way with the cookie cake, the presents started rolling in. I’m going to assume there was no hidden meaning when the cake was immediately followed by a new pair of Crossfit shoes and running shoes with a note that said, “Use these, fatty.”  < — part of that sentence may be false

I got pink New Balance Vibrams for Crossfit. Super cute.

And Brooks Glycerin 10’s for running.

I can’t believe hubs bought me something that has to do with running. Ahhh. #love

I tried on the 11s and they felt super weird compared to the 10s. I didn’t like the look of the 10s on the shelf but loved them on my feet. Since they didn’t feel any different than the Ghost 5s (which I currently wear), I decided to take a chance on a new style (a.k.a, there could still be a bitchy post about them later on, but I’m pretty sure I’ll like them). I’ve been eyeing new running shoes for awhile now, so I’m excited to try these out.

Ok, slight detour there. Let’s get back to birthday stuff. After gifts, the foodapalooza of things I don’t normally eat started and went on all weekend. Like, this Reuben from 903 Mills Market. (That place is amazing if you live in Orlando.)

See how I got the thousand island on the side? That makes it healthy.

There was also pizza from Ale House which is mostly a seafood restaurant, but we went there specifically for pizza. That’s when you’ve hit rock bottom, my friends. When you just pick the closest restaurant you know of with pizza.

It was still delicious. There were also steak quesadillas, a bacon cheeseburger, fried cheesy jalapenos, tater tots, and nachos that all went unpictured because they were covered in my shame.

Ok, so the birthday festivities started at Mucho. Mucho is a Mexican restaurant/bar that I frequent because they have my favorite drink in the land. If you come to visit me, I will take you there, but you will probably have to drive me home.

Lisa (the BFF), moi, and Janice while I was still coherent.

There were so many friends I didn’t get a picture of that came out to help celebrate, but I guess not thinking about pictures is a sign that I had a good time. I did manage to get one of Michelle who decided that I was more important than her baby and made her first sans-baby appearance. Smile

After Mucho closed, I really wanted to go next door to The Abbey, but they were booked for a special event. The Abbey usually hosts small concerts, plays, and private parties, but late at night on the weekends, they open the bar to the public. The place has good music and really cheap drinks, especially for being downtown, so I was bummed we couldn’t get in. Little did I know my friend, Greg, went next door, noticed the party was dead, and talked the host into letting 15 of us in. So, we ended up crashing someone else’s private party.

Sweeet.

That’s Greg, charmer extraordinaire. I swear he can talk people into anything. He is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Teri (on the left) is lucky to have snatched him up. (Ok, she’s not bad herself.)

Did I mention it was a masquerade party? We were slightly under-dressed.

The girl in the costume was celebrating her and her fiance’s mutual June birthdays and their engagement. I can’t even tell you how many times I thanked her for letting us join the party. I even donated money to her face-painting friend that was raising money for some important charity that I can’t remember, like Lonely Kittens Against being Lonely.

The next day, when I looked at the pictures on my camera, I was a little bummed that hubs and I didn’t have any together. At least, I thought we didn’t until I found our only commemorative birthday picture posted by our friend on Facebook.

Yep. That’s about right.

So basically, I had a fabulous birthday hanging out with good friends and strangers dressed like Downton Abbey. Then it took me two full days to recover which has never happened before.

I am officially old.

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Sunday Bunday

Posted on June 9, 2013 by

I had a pretty fabulous birthday weekend that I’ll share with you later, but until then it’s time for a little cuteness.

I think I mentioned before how much Pants hates to be picked up. I mean, just hates it. She lays really still, her ear slicks back, and her eyes get wide. Unfortunately for her, we love it. We get to shower her with kisses and snuggles and she can’t do a damn thing about it.

Ahhh, forced love.

Maybe she can work on being less adorable and we’ll stop picking her up but I doubt that will happen when she keeps giving us sweet pictures like this.

That FACE. I want to eat it.

So that was today’s bunny snuggle. And just when you thought you couldn’t get enough sweetness, I figured out how to make gifs.

Taping her is my new obsession.

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Nothing that was sort of something

Posted on June 3, 2013 by

This weekend was much better than the last few. I will still lazy and barely got off the couch, but instead of being a mopey whiner about it, I embraced the lazy. I embraced the lazy so hard.

(source)

I actually feel somewhat productive because I watched 2 1/2 movies and read one book. I’ll call that good for the week.

Friday night, we watched an hour of Gandhi since hubs decided that I have no culture and need it desperately. We didn’t finish it yet, so I guess that wasn’t so productive. Then I moved on to things I couldn’t possibly learn from, the way I like it.  I was too lazy to move out of the “H’s” on Netflix streaming, so I watched two movies that started with “House.”

First up was House of the Devil. This movie was actually recommended by a friend, and with a tagline like, “Talk on the phone. Finish your homework. Watch TV. DIE.” how could I say no?

The “DIE” is in red so you know they’re serious. This movie was made in 2009. I had to double check the date while we were watching because the 80′s vibe was so strong and so well done. Really impressive cinematography. The movie itself was just OK. If you liked Rosemary’s Baby (because it’s super similar) or like movies in which absolutely nothing whatsoever happens until the very end of the movie, you’ll like this. Actually, it was pretty slow. In fact, if you want to know exactly what happens, read the tagline. That is the whole movie except for, “order a pizza.” They should add that.

I also watched House at the End of the Street.

I’m a sucker for Jennifer Lawrence. She is the only reason I watched this. Oddly enough, I still have not seen Silver Linings Playbook. Anyway, it started off like any other double-murder-in-the-spooky-house-across-from-yours movie. Then it ended slightly better than it started. Not bad, just nothing special.

To put some diversity in my weekend, I read a book. I have a slight girl crush forming for Mindy Kaling now. I hated her character, Kelly, in The Office, so I refused to watch The Mindy Project. I accidentally caught part of it one day when I was too lazy to reach for the remote and kinda loved it, so I gave her book a try.

mindy1

I will say, I wasn’t expecting to like it. I made it through 30 pages of Tina Fey’s book before I couldn’t take it anymore and I love Tina Fey. This book is really similar. Except it’s not. It’s actually funny and interesting. (Sorry, I know tons of people loved Tina’s crappy book.) I didn’t care about Mindy’s top favorite funny moments on TV and film but the rest of it is super interesting about how she grew up, became a writer for The Office, and thinks Amy Poehler and Will Arnett have a really strong marriage (ha!). Now I love her even more.

So that was my productive weekend. This Friday is my birthday so it’s bound to get more exciting than that. Who knows, maybe I’ll watch the rest of Gandhi and part of Schindler’s List. Really make it a party.

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The Doctor Visit

Posted on May 31, 2013 by

Every now and then I have a good story to tell. There was the one about the bird, the one where I felt like an idiot, and the one about the guy that asked a lot of questions. Now, I’m not saying this is one of those times. I mean, I have a story but I’m not going to make any promises of how good it is, but I’m going to tell it none the less. This happened back in February and I forgot about it until the other day, so now you’re not only getting a story with questionable entertainment value, but it’s also old.

Ok. Now that I have your expectations lowered…

At the end beginning of the year, I was sick a lot. I had a pretty bad cold, then got the flu, and then an upper respiratory infection. It was a seemingly unending string of sickness. I happen to be one of those people that never go to the doctor. My mom was an RN, so she is my doctor. If she tells me I’m not dying, I’m pretty good with that. That means, I don’t have a primary doctor so I have nowhere to go when I’m actually dying. Because I have no doctor, I wait until I can’t take the misery of sickness any longer and I’m positive I won’t get better from sleep and drugs, and then I go to the closest walk-in clinic.

Well, I was close to what I felt was dying and decided it was time to go. Turns out there’s a walk-in clinic about two minutes from my house in a slightly run down and questionable strip mall. I mean, there were four dudes hanging out and eating a pizza on the trunk of their car in the parking lot. Not really an up scale type of place. I’m pretty sure telling you this has nothing to do with the story. Or maybe it does. Either way, mentioning pizza let’s me segue into showing this.

That’s a beautiful gif.

When I arrived, I was the only one there so I was relieved I wouldn’t be waiting forever. The girl behind the desk gave me a bunch of paperwork to fill out since I had never been there before. When I was done, I handed it back and she started putting my information into the computer.

She asked me several questions after I gave her the papers, so I thought I had missed some questions on the forms. Specifically, she asked me where I worked, and I told her. Then she asked me what type of company it was, and I told her. Then she asked what I did, and I told her that too. I thought those were pretty specific questions, but then again, maybe she needed to know that I could pay for treatment? I had no idea. I did notice she stopped typing in my information.

There was a slight pause in conversation.

Then she said, “Oh, Ok.  I was just wondering because I’m looking for a new job.” Then she said:

That was awkward.

I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t ask her why she hated her job for fear the answer would be, “that guy’s not really a doctor.” So, I just took a seat.

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Lazy Misery

Posted on May 28, 2013 by

I’ve been a little quiet on the blog front lately, mostly because I’ve had a few miserable weeks and weekends which make me feel no-so-social. Nothing bad has happened. I just feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time lately but have no motivation to do anything about it. The more time I waste, the more miserable I am and the more miserable I am, the less I do anything about it. I guess I’m just prone to lazy misery.

Since no one wants to hear about my misery, I thought I’d talk about the things that are making me happy lately. It’s not much, so don’t get too excited. I’ll try not to make it all about food and booze since we know that’s the only thing that makes me truly happy.

1. I got a new pair of  Old Navy running shorts which I’m sure made me run a new fast mile of 7:32. 7:32!

I know it’s only one mile but still, I never thought I would be capable of running one that fast. Also, I only partially felt like dying during the run instead of my normal full-on death wish with sobbing. It’s the little things.

2.  Hubs and I ordered a half dessert and got this.

Thank you, America, for your disgusting glutinous ways. I don’t care what anyone says about you, you’re alright.

3. Strawberry fields martinis at noon. (Strawberry vodka, Triple Sec., mint, lime, and muddled strawberries.)

Hubs took me to this awesome little hippie-like brunch place called Maxine’s on Shine. He’s been wanting to take me there since he and another friend discovered it while back. Let me just say, we do not have cute brunch places in Orlando. We have the Olive Garden and Arby’s, so this place is definitely a find.

They had really good food, amazing customer service, live folk music, and mimosas served in mason jars so big they’d make the producers of Cougar Town proud. I don’t normally drink during the day (or on weekdays) because I find drinking way too fun to stop once I start, but the drinks at Maxine’s sounded so good I had to get one (after another).

4. I saw the new Star Trek last night.

I loved it (and no, I’m not a Trekkie). The entire cast is just so good. Everyone fits their character perfectly. I’m even growing a little sweet on Chris Pine. I might have to see that movie with him and Reese Witherspoon after all. The only thing that bothered me about the movie were his eyebrows. I just cannot deal with those. I mean, surely someone has talked to him about that. It’s like they are invading his face.

But still, he’s cute, so I’m doing my best to look past the browsie wowsies.

5. Pants working hard on maintaining her double chin.

That fluffy face always puts a smile on mine.

Alright, here’s to having some less miserable weeks and weekends.

High Five

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Sometimes I Read

Posted on May 21, 2013 by

I’ve been reading a lot lately. Way more than usual which is normally pretty minimal because I spend my time watching hours upon hours of television. Most of these were recommended (and lent) to me by Michelle. I forget books exist until she tells me I need to read something that she loved. She is my Book Whisperer. So, it’s super rare for me to read five books in five weeks, so I’m feeling kinda accomplished right now.

1. Unwholly by Neal Shusterman

UnWholly

Summary:

Thanks to Connor, Lev, and Risa—and their high-profile revolt at Happy Jack Harvest Camp—people can no longer turn a blind eye to unwinding. Ridding society of troublesome teens while simultaneously providing much-needed tissues for transplant might be convenient, but its morality has finally been brought into question. However, unwinding has become big business, and there are powerful political and corporate interests that want to see it not only continue, but also expand to the unwinding of prisoners and the impoverished.

Is it me or does the dude on the cover look like Eminem? He’s all I could think about during that scene. Anyway, this is the second book of the Unwind trilogy and I was pretty excited about it because I loved Unwind. Unfortunately, it’s nowhere near as good as the first book. It started off slowly, so I read about 50 pages and put it down for three months until I picked it up again. It took a good hundred pages to get me interested enough that I wanted to finish. Overall, I liked it but it was just disappointing after the first book.

2. The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker

The Age of Miracles

Summary:

On a seemingly ordinary Saturday in a California suburb, Julia and her family awake to discover, along with the rest of the world, that the rotation of the earth has suddenly begun to slow. The days and nights grow longer and longer, gravity is affected, the environment is thrown into disarray. As Julia adjusts to the new normal, the slowing inexorably continues.

I liked this one. It was interesting, particularly because something like the Earth’s rotation slowing could really happen which gave it a real/creepy factor. If I can be nit-picky, it started off a bit slow and I got tired of reading, “this was the last time I stepped foot in this house” or “this was the last time I’d play the piano” or “this was the last grape I’d ever eat.” I get it. This was a new time. But overall, it was a really good, fast read. I didn’t love the ending. It wasn’t bad but it ended with no real resolution and makes you want more. Also, it took me till almost the end of the book to figure out what the title meant which was slightly annoying.

3. The Fault in our Stars by John Green

The Fault in Our Stars

Summary:

Diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer at 13, Hazel was prepared to die until, at 14, a medical miracle shrunk the tumors in her lungs… for now.
Enter Augustus Waters. A match made at cancer kid support group, Augustus is gorgeous, in remission, and shockingly to her, interested in Hazel. Being with Augustus is both an unexpected destination and a long-needed journey, pushing Hazel to re-examine how sickness and health, life and death, will define her and the legacy that everyone leaves behind.

I loved it. It’s probably the best book I’ve read in the past year or two. It’s so sad and funny and touching. This is the only book I’ve ever read that’s made me laugh out loud. I loved the characters and loved the author’s writing. I definitely recommend this one. Prepare to cry unless you have a cold, black soul

4. Paper Towns by John Green

Paper Towns

Summary:

Quentin Jacobsen has spent a lifetime loving the magnificently adventurous Margo Roth Spiegelman from afar. So when she cracks open a window and climbs back into his life–dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge–he follows.

After their all-nighter ends and a new day breaks, Q arrives at school to discover that Margo, always an enigma, has now become a mystery. But Q soon learns that there are clues–and they’re for him. Urged down a disconnected path, the closer he gets, the less Q sees of the girl he thought he knew.

After loving The Fault in Our Stars, I was ready for MOAR John Green, and I gotta say…I didn’t like it. It takes place in Orlando, so it was cool to know the streets and landmarks. It also had some of the same humor that I liked so much in TFIOS, but I just didn’t give a shit about any of the characters, especially Margo – the character the entire book is centered around. I don’t even get why Q would care about her so much to go through everything he did to find her. Did not make sense. I considered not finishing the book half way through but I guess I hoped it would get better or I would care at some point but it didn’t happen. I also hated the ending. (Side note: I know Michelle loved this book so maybe I’m just a grumpy old woman.)

5. The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick

The Silver Linings Playbook

Summary:

Meet Pat. Pat has a theory: his life is a movie produced by God. And his God-given mission is to become physically fit and emotionally literate, whereupon God will ensure a happy ending for him — the return of his estranged wife Nikki.

I finished this one last night. I know I’m late to the game and probably the only one left that hasn’t seen the movie, but I keep hearing good things so I went for it and loved it. Again, if I can be nit-picky, the sports talk got a little old after awhile but overall it’s such a sweet and (sometimes) funny story. Plus, the ending leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy-like.

What have you read that you love or hate?

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Sunday Bunday

Posted on May 19, 2013 by

Every day, hubs and I are in and out of the fridge to make meals and grab snacks, and every day Pants ignores us and goes about doing her bunny business. However, when we get an apple out, our little Fruit Whisperer just knows and starts begging. At first we thought she knew certain sounds, like the fruit crisper drawer opening or the rustle of a plastic bag. We even tried tricking her a few times by making the same noises when we get an apple, but bringing out a different food. It never works. We’ll check her cage and she’s not paying attention. But once we get out that apple, she assumes the position.

Now our favorite thing to do is get an apple and then check out the cute and pathetic that is a begging bunny. Usually she doesn’t stay in one position long enough for us to get a picture, but yesterday she would.not.move and I got begging position #3.

I really want to dress her in a striped jumpsuit.

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Five for Friday

Posted on May 17, 2013 by

1.  I’m gonna call it. The weather in Texas is better than the weather in Florida.

You hear that, Cely? I thought the weather was perfect during the three weeks I was there. I had to wear a jacket at least three of the days and then layed out in the sun after that to a clear, sunny sky with a cool breeze. I mean, Texas has indecisive weather and gets three months of total suck during the summer that is way worse than Florida, but then it’s over. The cold fronts from the West actually get to you and then you suck it all up and leave Florida in perpetual summer for 10 months of the year. You are rude, Texas. Learn to share those cold fronts.

2. I checked out my Daily Mile and realized there’s not much to do in Killeen.

I’m on a running break for the most part and still managed 84 miles in three weeks. Most of those miles were walking (so I could read books – I’ll tell you about those later) but still, that’s a lot of miles. I don’t think I ever hit 40 miles in a week during marathon training. I mean, I still gained 3.5 lbs during that three weeks. The will to eat crap 24/7 in Texas is a strong force that my inner buffet-lovin’ fat girl just can’t fight.

3. I registered for my first race of next season.

601708_361730577264740_1654849936_n

I’m running the Celebration Half Marathon. It’s super cheap ($50), about a half hour away from home, and brand new. This year, I’m really looking forward to running some new races. I’m getting tired of repeating the same ones year after year. So, no full marathons for me yet, though my next (and maybe last) full is going to be Chicago next year. I still have to consult with my personal marathon therapist about that decision. ;-)

4.  Speaking of running, I got that fast mile I’ve been working on up to a 7:47 pace last night! It was hard, but I didn’t feel like I was going to die afterwards. I think working on a fast mile has really helped my HIIT runs. This week, and for the first time since February, I was able to do an entire HIIT run without walking and I was back up to my 7:30 interval time. (I had to drop to a 8:00 and 8:30 pace.) So nice to get some speed back!

5. I watched The Office finale last night.

Soooo good. I loved it. Even hubs agreed and said he was happy to see a series finale that didn’t suck for once. It was cute to see what a difference even a crappy office job made in all their lives. I know some people hate The Office, but I’m totally gonna miss it. I loved it with and without Steve Carrell and I’m seriously going to miss everything about Jim.

Oh, and lastly, if you want to read Michelle’s sweet birth story, check it out here. It comes chalk-full of adorable pics of baby Evan and things said about her uterus and vagina that I will never be able to un-read.

Have a good weekend everyone. Smile

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Nice to Be Home

Posted on May 13, 2013 by

I made it back from TX in one piece. I’m so happy to be back home with my family. And DVR. And pantry. You don’t know what you got until 24-hour access to your pantry is gone. I even came back to a clean (and dusted) house with clean floors. What the what? You have no idea how excited that makes me.

I could get used to this going away and coming back thing.

While I was away, Ms. Fancy Pants decided she likes to drink out of a bowl instead of her sippy bottle.

Such a diva. I suppose she’s going to want her lettuce wrapped in bacon next.

I’m probably going to start a weekly (or more like, when I remember) post about her because it was bound to happen at some point. I can’t keep adorable, begging bunny pictures like this to myself.

Anyway, I always make it a point to play the lottery when I’m on travel because it seems like people from out of state always win the Florida lottery and piss me off, so I wanna be the jerk that wins from out of state too. But unfortunately, that didn’t happen and now I need to go to work.

Before I go, I want to say Happy (belated) Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there (especially mine) and a special Happy Mother’s Day to my favorite running mama Michelle. She had her baby yesterday. <3 Go check out her new 9lb chunky monkey that she had sans drugs. Not by choice, of course. Cuz she loves drugs.

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